Hunter
by The Ice Princess93
Summary: Four years before anyone knew the names Katniss and Peeta, there was Katari. But no one was supposed to know her. It was against every code that the Hunters hold dear. They live for anonymity because they need it to do their job, horrific as it is
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Hey! So, this chapter may be a little slow, sorry, it's alot of background. Just bear with me, later on there will be more action-y stuff but I need the background stuff first otherwise it will be confusing. Hope you like it! Reviews and suggestions are always appreciated!**

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"Katari, focus", My father growled. He was annoyed. But more than that, he was worried. In district 12, it is easy to be distracted. The people are starving. They spend their days mining coal for the capitol, their designated job for the Capitol that we all serve. Each district stuck with its own task, and they had to get stuck with mining coal. A few were lucky. They got to be bakers and apothecaries and other such things. The Capitol did little to help them. No one there really cared for those from 12. They never won the annual Hunger Games and they didn't have a very prestigious job set like the people from districts 1, 2, and 4. They just worked like slaves, doing the capitol's bidding for the most part. A few hunted illegally, but the Capitol didn't mind, as long as they did everything that was demanded of them.

Then again, I am not much better. I live better than most, save the people of the Capitol. My father has trained me for my profession, if you want to call it that. He really had no choice. Everyone in our particular profession must have an heir, but only one. If you refuse, well, you and everyone you love will be tortured to death. But that would take years. So mostly torture. No one knows what we do. We could tell them, but then we would have to kill them. Seriously. It would be more merciful than what our higher-ups would do to them. So, every one of us has to have at least one child to pass on their legacy to. They train them and teach them the rules, then the heir is on their own for their test. And they have to pass that test, or there are some nasty consequences. First, the child is considered a failure, so of course they are tortured and killed in some creative new way. For a first offense, it's not considered a fluke, just that particular heir, and that next time it will be a success. But the second time, the failed heir is killed, the family is killed, and they must start all over.

So what has my father especially on edge? Not that I could die, not that I don't have the skill, but that I would be the second offense. He could lose his entire family over today. I have to pass my test. And you're probably thinking, well maybe you should have studied harder and you wouldn't have a problem. My answer would be that yes I studied. I studied for 16 years. You are probably also thinking, damn, what the hell kind of school kills you for failing a test? Well, in the nation of Panem, which lies in the ruins of what was once called North America, there is a powerful government called the Capitol, a city that is filled with some of the most cruel and devious people ever to live, and also with a ton of vapid, but sadistic people who like to watch kids kill each other. They also worry about parties and the latest, nuttiest fashions. They don't really care about the people in the 12 districts surrounding the Capitol. There were 13 before the rebellion, but the thirteenth was destroyed because it incited the rebellion. The others were just severely punished and, as an added bonus, forced to send two tributes each year, one a girl and one a boy, from each district between the ages of twelve and seventeen to compete in the Hunger Games, a fight to the death where twenty four enter an arena, but only one leaves alive. Then the winner is showered with wealth, fame, yadda yadda. But the thing is, District 13 wasn't destroyed by bombs like the capitol claims. That wouldn't have worked since they were the ones who made the bombs. No, the Capitol of Panem feeds its people these lies because it wants to keep its greatest weapon a secret, the one thing that the people don't realize they are still being punished with. Us.

So, you see, facing a test like this isn't a matter of writing down the right answers. It's not about memorization. It is about deciding wether or not you can take a life, and then spend the rest of your life doing exactly the same thing, because that is what those in my profession do. We didn't choose this life, but we have to live it anyway. We are the Capitol's elite assassins, which is why it keeps so few of us, only up to twenty four at any given time, because we are so lethal. We are the ones they send in when someone has crossed their line, the ones they sent in almost seventy years ago to destroy an entire district.

We are Hunters, and wherever we go, death follows.


	2. Chapter 2

I saw my target, a man just entering the mines. I followed, pretending to work here as well. My work is far more distasteful than this though. He went down deeper and deeper into the mine with me always a few feet behind. No one noticed, or at least no one cared. Then, of course, I realized why. I knew that this man was going to excavate a new area, but I forgot that it would take more than one man. There was a small group that would excavate, and they must have thought that I was a part of it. Of course, that meant that my body count would go up, but it's a necessary evil. At least, that is what I tell myself to this very day. It was necessary.

I went all the way to the secluded part of the mine, slipped the small bomb I had asked for from the Hunter council and hid it in the dynamite. I made sure the detonator was in my pocket before walking up to the man.

"Can I talk to you over there for a minute?" I glanced at the other men and women, "I'm supposed to deliver a message, but they aren't aloud to hear. Might cause panic and all." Well, at least I hadn't lied.

He nodded and followed me deeper into the cave where I quickly turned on him when I was sure we were out of earshot of the others and shoved a rag in his mouth to muffle the screams. From my boot I pulled a wicked looking knife with three different points on it. I was sort of sorry for what I was about to do to this man but the lives of my family were far more important to me than that of this man. Since the Council was watching this through the camera in my retina to ensure that I didn't fake his death, and to make sure that I made his death painful enough for their liking, I had to make this good, or bad, depending on how you look at it. Since my older brother had failed his test, it would take more than just a death, just a plain pass to satisfy them. I had to make them believe that I was cruel and ruthless.

These thoughts circled through my head as I shoved the knife into his abdomen. He would live long enough to make this painful. As he doubled over in pain, his scream dampened by the rag, I made deep slices on his back, cut of each ear slowly, then his nose, then gouged out his eyes. I watched somewhat mesmerized as blood spurted out of his face and he writhed and twitched on the floor while absently I was cleaning off the knife with my shirt.

When the twitching finally ceased, I ran from the room yelling, "Help! He just collapsed and started twitching! I don't know what to do!"

I felt a pang of guilt. I didn't even know the guy's name. I decided that was probably for the better. Every single person in the group ran to help and I slipped out of the mine. The second I was clear, I detonated the bomb and heard the screams of people and the rumbling.

I tried to tune out the sounds as I walked to the hovercraft where my father waited with a tight smile. He understood that this was a necessary evil.

On the hovercraft, as soon as it was in the air, the large screen in the center came on, revealing the heartless face of Jayce Turner, leader of the council, his face contorted into what was supposed to be a smile but he was too cruel to pull that off.

"Congratulations Katari, you have passed your test. If it were a grade, I would say you got a solid C, but that is a passing grade nonetheless. We were hoping you would pass. We have an assignment for you." He said this as though it were a huge honor to receive an assignment so soon after being named a full-fledged hunter, which, in their twisted minds, it was, but I didn't see it that way. I didn't really want to kill anyone right away, but there was no way around this. I was stuck and I knew it, "So, you will be briefed tomorrow after the Reaping. Good day"

And just like that he was gone, leaving me wondering what I was going to have to do this time. They were more lenient with the first kill, but they would expect the next one to be worse. Worse than that. Ugh. That would be pretty awful. And right after the Reaping. The day they would select the twenty-four kids to participate in the Games. Of course, Hunters and their heirs were immune, they guaranteed that since if one of us was ever entered, we would kill everyone very quickly, plus they couldn't risk our lives. They spent time and money on us and they wanted us alive. But family was still able to be chosen. It happened once in a while, someone's child sent to the Games. They occasionally came back because the Hunter's council sent many, many gifts to them in the arena to keep the Hunter from freaking out on them. Only one Hunter has ever gone insane from it and committed suicide.

When we got back to the house, I found a package for me that contained a phone and a lethal set of knives, 'Just for you', the note said. Lovely.

Then, in came my mother, and I just barely had time to hide the knives before she shoved me into the bathroom to take a bath. The second I was out, she attacked me with makeup and a white dress with gold braiding. She stuffed my feet into a pair of heels that hurt like hell and made me want my comfy boots back. She then literally threw the clothing into the fire saying that it was so disgusting that no amount of washing could save it.

My twin brother entered the kitchen at the same time as I did, probably trying to escape psycho-mother as well. Luckily, she had already moved on to Roslynn, our little sister, for whom this would be the first reaping she was eligible for.

"Wow. She made you look good. I didn't know that face existed under all of that grit you're usually covered in", He was trying to lighten the mood, but it struck a slight nerve. I was always covered in grit from training, always in sweat and dirt, and had he been the one born five minutes earlier that would be him. Instead, he was in his suit totally oblivious to how Panem truly ran itself and safe from the horrors of killing people. I instantly regretted those thoughts. I would not wish this fate on anyone, least of all my family, and I would protect them at the cost of my own sanity.

Instead, I just laughed and waited until everyone was ready to go. Then we left for the center square of District 4 where the boys and girls were separated by velvet ropes in front of a gilded stage where Zilli Mayson stood, our representative from the capitol, and the woman who would call the names for the unlucky souls who would be sent to either kill or be killed. She looked way too happy as she gave a little speech and drew the name of the girl tribute, but I wasn't really paying attention. I was more interested in the pain in my feet. I had felt some pretty awful things, but heels were a form of torture, and I would know. At age 12, all heirs are forced to go to the capitol for a week where they are tortured mercilessly to harden them, or well us, and to steel them for being captured by anyone, like that would ever happen.

So, of course, I was totally not paying attention when I happened to notice that people were staring at me. It's like a sixth sense Hunter's develop because it tells you that you aren't being discreet enough. I glanced up to see why they were staring at me, whispering, and then I heard the impossible. I heard Zilli's high pitched voice say, "Katari James?"

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**A/N: Okay, more story, less back stuff in this chapter. I apologize if it's confusing. Of course it makes sense to me because I have the story in my head, but if it's confusing at all tell me so I can attempt to fix it! Thanks! Reviews and suggestions are always appreciated!**


	3. Chapter 3

No, no, no. This could not be happening! How could I be called? Who was going to have to die for this mishap? Jayce would never let this slip up go unpunished. This had never occurred, to my knowledge, which is pretty extensive as far as our order is concerned.

I turned slowly to look at my father whose expression of pure shock probably mirrored my own before walking slowly to the stage where Zilli told me where to stand and the people of District 4 cheered. Unlike some of the other districts, the people here considered it an honor to be chosen. A girl in the front tried to volunteer, which is a completely normal occurrence in 4, but Zilli surprised me by saying, "Sorry, dear, but this year we are not taking volunteers. But feel free next year! And may the odds be ever in your favor!", there, there was the awful phrase that all of the Capitol representatives loved to use.

Then, she turned to the giant, ornate glass ball that held the boy's names. She called a boy forward who was large and muscular, the typical career tribute, as was the term for those tributes from districts 1, 2, and 4 who spent their lives training for the Games. One of them had a tendency to win every year because they were better fed and better trained than those from the other districts.

The mayor gave a speech, our mentors gave speeches, then a blur of others followed, until we were eventually led to the Justice building where we would be allowed an hour of goodbyes before being loaded onto a train bound for the Capitol.

I couldn't focus on anything, fear permeating my entire being. The same questions whirred through my head and I could imagine some of the horrific possibilities. Who would the Council make pay for this incident? Me? I hadn't done anything really, but when it came to the Council and one of their own, if said Hunter was involved in any way, they wouldn't care who had been responsible. There was a fair chance of punishment where I was concerned. They wouldn't kill me, although I would probably be wishing for death by the time they were finished. Those guys know how to torture a person. Seriously. And then there was the question, what had caused this mess in the first place? Had Torin, our Capitol-based Hunter forgotten one of the slips with my name on it? But what were the chances of my name being chosen with just one slip of paper in the drawing? Next to nothing. So then the question became, was this deliberate?

Once in the room where friends and family were supposed to say goodbye, I received my answer, "Katari", Jayce strode in to the room, looking rather bored, followed by the other two members of the council, a tall, imposing woman with fiery red hair whose name was Keller and behind her was Jeff. He actually changed his name from the one his parents had given him to Jeff when he had become a Hunter, which we all could do, but very few chose to. No one really understood why he had chosen it except that he's seen the name in a history textbook and decided he wanted it.

I looked hesitantly between the three, and Jayce rolled his eyes, "Oh, stop being so worried, we aren't here to punish you. This is your assignment. It was orchestrated by us, so stop worrying and listen", and I did. I was so relieved by the news that I actually sighed in relief, "So, your assignment is simple", he pulled two photos from his pocket and handed them to me, "Shortly, those two will be chosen for the games as well. They botched their tests so badly that we thought we would make it a public execution, and what better way than the games? They are the only way to publicly torture a person and not be thrown in jail or killed. Plus, Snow decided that he wanted a show to end all others this year, so he said he wanted a hunter in the arena", He sneered the name. It was no secret among our order that Jayce hated the President of Panem. In fact, only the President remained in the dark about that particular piece of information. Jayce hated the fact that the President ordered us around, not really understanding that much about us. He didn't even order most of the kills. Jayce and the council did. Snow just occasionally ordered someone dead when they didn't cook his food right or some stupid reason.

Jayce shook his head, and the scary gleeful look that had been on his face as though he were plotting Snow's death disappeared, "Anyway, as I was saying before I got slightly sidetracked is that you must kill those two, but you also have to torture them as no one has ever been tortured before, give the capitol a show", He shook his head, "You know, I don't understand them. They enjoy children brutalizing one another. It's their favorite form of entertainment! I just don't get it. I mean, don't get me wrong, I love watching people tortured and killed, but even I draw the line at kids. They are so.....I don't know what, but its no fun killing them or watching them be killed. Unless they are my little Hunters and they have failed me. And we all know how twisted I am, so what's their excuse?" Oh, yeah, and Jayce hated the people of the Capitol.

"While you are in the Arena, we will send you gifts, but you have to earn them, do you understand? You will get a gift with each kill, but how brutal and gory that kill is determines the gift. For example, say you shoot someone in the heart, you might receive a bit of bread, but if you were to carve out their heart while they were living, you might get a full, warm meal. Oh, and if you are injured, we will obviously send medicine to you. Any questions?"

I shook my head no.

"Excellent! Now, your family will be in shortly. Goodbye for now", They left, but Jayce popped his head back into the doorway, "Oh, and, Katari? Should you fail and not return, know that your family will be tortured mercilessly for at least a year. Good day." and with those lovely parting words, he was gone.

I shoved the pictures into my pocket just as my family rounded the corner. My mother was sobbing about how she couldn't bear to lose another child, and my sister sat next to me, silent tears streaming down her face. She laid her head in my lap. Jynx and I shared a look that basically involved him letting me know that he would never forgive me if I didn't return and me letting him know that I understood. It was a twin thing.

Out of everyone, my father was the only one who didn't look upset. He looked composed. I knew he was at least a little worried, but he had probably been briefed by Jayce before entering and that meant he knew I had their backing and that they would help me through the games.

"Tari", he said, "Your uncle has a message for you. He says he forgot to tell you not to kill more than one or two per day, just to keep it interesting."

My mother made a disgusted sound. She had never really cared for Uncle Jayce. She didn't know what he was but apparently there was something about him that was just.....off.

When my time with them was up, they were asked to leave and a group of peacekeepers escorted me onto the platform where the train waited, and where I encountered at least a million flashing cameras. So, I put a big smile on my face, waved a little, and allowed the peacekeepers to lead me onto the train, where they left me alone, sliding the door shut behind themselves, and my smile disappeared almost instantly.

I turned around and walked toward the front of the train, looking around. I entered a room with a couch and sat down, turning on the television in front of it. It was some announcer talking about what an exciting day this was, the seventieth Hunger Games. I didn't even want to look at the pictures of the would-have-been Hunters that I had to torture to death in my pocket. I would have to eventually, I knew, but for now I tried to drown out the sounds in my head, tried not to shut my eyes because I knew what images were waiting for me there and I didn't want to see them. And then I heard a smooth voice behind me say, "Hello"

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**A/N: Better? I hope it is. Oh, and the man that she killed in the last chapter was someone that if you have read the books you will know who he is. Although he was dead when the books started, but that was why. If you have any suggestions, please let me know! And, as always, reviews are appreciated!**


	4. Chapter 4

I spun around, shocked that I hadn't heard the owner of that voice come so close to me, and found myself looking at one of the Capitol's favorite winners, Finnick Odair. He was probably one of the last people on the planet I wanted to talk to right now, but then again every person on the face of the planet fell right around there on my I-Don't-Want-To-Talk-To-You list.

"Hi", I said, hoping the coolness of my voice got him to leave me alone.

No such luck, unfortunately. Instead, he smiled brightly and sat down in one of the chairs in the room which was sort of diagonal to me and was angled as close to across from me while still being able to clearly see the television as was possible.

"Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Finnick O-".

"I know"

"Of course you do, just being polite, but let me try this again", He extended a hand toward me, "Hello, my name is Finnick O-"

"I know", I turned to glare at him.

He was starting to look annoyed, "Please stop interrupting me and allow me to complete one sentence. Again, Hi, my name is Finnick Odair-"

"Okay, okay, I get the picture. I know who you are. Kay, thanks, bye", Okay, so I was being rude, but I wanted him to shut up, walk out of here, and leave me alone. Was that too much to ask?

He sighed, "You need to listen to me and listen well. You have got to learn some manners because when it comes down to it, your life could depend on it." He looked serious now.

I snorted, "Yeah, because they'll care about that in the arena. I can see it now. 'Excuse me, fellow tribute, but could you please tell me your name before I carve out your heart and feed it to you? I don't want to be rude'"

Finnick gave me a droll stare, "No, not in the arena, but at your interview, having a few basic manners might not scare away potential sponsors. So lets try again. Hello my name is Finnick Odair and I am your mentor." He was looking at me as though waiting for something. When I wasn't forthcoming, he sighed, "And you are?"

"I worry about my safety if you're my mentor and don't even know who I am."

"Obviously I know who you are, but I am trying to teach you something. Just because you think I should know something doesn't mean you should skip over common courtesies."

I rolled my eyes, "Fine. Katari James. Murderer. Nice to make your acquaintance."

"That was dreadful", I rolled my eyes at him, "And stop doing that! You look like your eyes are going to roll out of your head."

"Good. Then maybe I won't have to look at your ugly face any longer", Alright, I admit, he wasn't that bad looking, but he was annoying me. I hoped that constantly insulting him would make him angry and he would leave.

Unfortunately for the second time, I was so very wrong, and instead of getting angry or yelling, he laughed. Laughed!

"Oh this is going to be fun", He grinned.

I looked at him as though he were crazy, "What the hell kind of nut are you?"

"The very best kind, which in my opinion is a coconut"

I groaned, "Yeah, and did you get hit on the head with one as a small child? Or maybe twenty?"

"Not that I recall. Now, what can you do? What are your strengths and what are your weaknesses?"

"Umm, I'm good at everything, and I have no weaknesses" Truth.

"Except your arrogance"

"No, actually I'm not lying and I'm not over-exaggerating, want me to demonstrate? And I am not arrogant. I'm just answering your question."

"So, you can proficiently use a sword, mace, bow, through knives......" And he proceeded to list of every type of fighting possible.

"Yes."

"Well then you may just have shot at winning, if you are telling the truth."

"Oh believe me I am. You don't want to know why, or how I learned, but know that I am a killer, and a very efficient one. I will win. Now your job seems to be done. Goodbye."

He laughed again, "Not quite. Sorry. Okay, so you're a fighter. Don't forget that the Game makers like to through in tricks. Can you swim?"

"Yes"

"Hunt?"

"Yes"

"Hide?"

"Yes"

"Run fast?"

"Yes"

"How much heat can you withstand?"

"More than you, I would bet"

That earned me a glare, "Cold?"

"Call me a penguin"

And so the questions came. They seemed endless. Finally, he seemed satisfied with the answers.

"Okay! Well then, I think that we should go eat.", He hopped up off of the couch and left, only to come back thirty seconds later, "Come on! Up!", not that he waited for me to get up on my own. Instead, he grabbed my arm, pulled me out of my seat and dragged me down the hall.

Finally we stopped in a compartment with a table and chairs. It was pretty nice, nothing like the Capitol, but way nicer than anything in District 4. The boy tribute, Marlin, his mentor, Maggs, who coincidentally had been Finnick's mentor and was something like eighty, and Zilli were all there. Oh, and about Marlin's name? Some parents name their children normal names, like Maggs, and then some name their children after fish because they are around fish constantly and are just that uncreative.

We pulled out seats and began eating the incredible Capitol food. I, who had tasted it before, ate neatly and slowly, but Marlin was stuffing his face as fast as he could. Zilli looked disgusted by him.

No one really spoke and after I was done, Zilli shoed me my room where I found an entire wardrobe of clothing, mostly very elaborate clothes, and a pair of pajamas. I grabbed them, but hated them immediately because of the silk flowers and butterflies all over them plus the crazy beading. Instead, I put them back and grabbed a random shirt and pair of pants. I hopped into bed and passed out.

I was unfortunately forced out of a very wonderful dream my someone shaking me. What made me even more angry with said person was the fact that the dream had been about me living a normal life having nothing to do with being a Hunter. So, of course, I spun on the person and had them pinned to the floor beneath me in a matter of seconds with my hands closed tightly around their throat. It took me a moment to realize that the person emitting the horrible choking sound from beneath me was a poor scared girl about my age. An avox, someone who was deemed a traitor by the capitol and was forced to be a servant after having had their tongues cut out. It was a terrible punishment and I knew that I personally was responsible for putting at least three people through the misery.

"Sorry", I muttered as I let go and stood, helping the wide eyed girl up in the process, "You just scared me"

She just pointed out the door to my room, then scurried off. I hurriedly dressed in a plain black silk blouse and black pants with the black boots I always wore. Then I left only to run into Zilli on my way.

"What are you doing here? You should be eating already! We are getting in to the Capitol in a few minutes! Hurry!" She cried before shoving me in the direction of the dining car. I went and managed to eat a roll and a few pieces of fruit before Finnick showed up.

"Time to meet your fans", He said as he grabbed my arm and hauled me to my feet. He looked me up and down, "No, no, no, this won't do at all", he muttered to himself. He pulled me down the train to where I had slept and dug through the closet for a moment until he emerged with a white shirt with gold and silver embellishment.

He threw it at me, "Here. Change."

"No"

He looked rather annoyed with me, "Just do what I say and trust me"

"Fine", I grabbed the shirt and slammed the door in his face. I knew I shouldn't be so childish, but I had always hated when people told me what to wear. Not to mention this shirt was far more revealing than anything I would normally allow.

I walked out of the door a moment later, tugging up the front of the shirt uncomfortably, "You better be happy"

"Incredibly", He didn't look it though as he grabbed my arm for the third time in twenty four hours and dragged me down the train to a door where he all but shoved me out into the blazing sunlight.

It hit me like a wrecking ball. The cheering crowd, the bright light from the sun, the smell. I had been to the Capitol before but always under the cover of night. Never any screaming crowds. I was surprised they knew my name at all. I was not used to that, let me tell you.

They cheered louder, and I turned slightly to see Finnick emerge waving from the train, smiling broadly. He led me to a car where Maggs and Marlin were already waiting.

"You're late", the old woman complained to Finnick.

"Yes, but they don't seem to mind", he offered her a grin, "Besides, we had a slight wardrobe malfunction to deal with"

"Malfunction!" I cried, offended, "I was dressed perfectly fine!"

Maggs laughed and Finnick rolled his eyes.

"I have yet to see a tribute so comfortable. Usually they are worried. Even the volunteers", Maggs commented.

"Yeah, well, you have yet to see anyone like me in the Games"

She looked at me for a moment, appearing to study me, before looking at Finnick, "I like her"


	5. Chapter 5

We were taken to stylists who were supposed to get us ready for the procession through the Capitol. Basically, our official introduction. This was the part that made me nervous. Not because what was going to happen really hit me at that moment, but because I had always been taught to worry about being noticed, and now I was going to be the center of attention.

After my prep team had me totally perfect, down to every speck of glitter on my face, my stylist entered. His name was Narcissus. As in vanity incarnate. And he most definitely was, with his face surgically altered to be perfect. He had shimmering gold spirals starting from the corners of his eyes and going down his face. they were coming out from under his shirt on his arms and hands and he had bright aqua eyeliner on. His aqua hair was in carefully styled disarray. He looked at my makeup, gold glitter with aqua eye makeup and gold lips. He studies my aqua nails with gold glitter over them.

When he finally deemed them acceptable, he moved to the closet and uncovered a dress with layers of varying blues. It was long and light and flowing. When I put it on, everything I did caused it to move, like water. He smiled brightly and shoved my arms into gloves made of a rope net. It looked amazing. My hair was left free, flowing down my back and shining with gold glitter.

We met Marlin and his stylist by the chariots with their perfect white horses. His outfit complimented mine, though it was nowhere near as stunning.

I studied the other tribute's costumes. The tributes from one were dressed in gold bodysuits with capes of cascading jewels. They were stunning. The tributes from twelve, though, were very unfortunately dressed, like miners. Poor them. I hoped that in the near future new stylists would be assigned to twelve so that they could have some dignity before dying.

When we were about to ride out, the district one tributes went out first and were received with wild cheering, then those from two, though their reception was not nearly as loud. Three went next, and then us. My heart was pounding in my chest as I smiled and waved. The Capitol citizens ate it up. They cheered and cheered, again not as loudly as they had for district one, but that was fine by me. At the end, on a big screen, they kept showing close ups of the tributes, and district one was definitely getting the most camera time and, to my discomfort, we came up second for most time on the screen.

When we were finally allowed back to our rooms, I was out of my costume in under three minutes. Of course, it was hard to get off, which was what caused the delay.

We had dinner with Finnick, Maggs, and Zilli, who could not stop talking about our amazing entrance, though mostly the amazing entrance of district one, but we were thrown in there occasionally. I excused myself from their company after they started analyzing exactly what gems they had used in the capes. Not really my thing. I wanted to sleep anyway. I definitely did not want to be tired the next day.

I slept soundly, until someone decided to pour water on my head. Without thinking, I had the person pinned to the ground, my hand around their throat for the second time. It was the same poor avox girl that I had done this to the previous morning. She looked just as scared, and I let her up with a quick apology. But come on, you would think they would learn to not wake me up, or at least do it from around ten feet away. Then this wouldn't happen.

At breakfast, I growled at the mentors and Zilli, "Anyone care to explain why the hell I am up, eating food at four in the morning and have had exactly three hours and sixteen minutes of sleep?"

"Because you two have training today and you're going to want all of the practice you can get", Finnick said cheerfully, which was really annoying.

"I thought we went over this already. I have had seventeen years of practice. Say it with me. Se-ven-teen. A few hours will not make a difference"

"Actually, it can. You have never killed anyone"

I snorted involuntarily, which earned me an annoyed look.

"You think this is funny? A game?" Finnick asked in a very annoyed tone.

"Well, it is called the Hunger _Games_"

"Don't get smart with me. You have never killed anyone. You don't understand. Mommy and Daddy and Uncle Bob showing you how to poke a sword into a dummy is not training with a bunch of professionals, and it is most certainly not killing anyone"

"Okay, A, my _Daddy_ and Uncle _Bob_ are better than you can ever imagine. And B, how the hell do you know I've never killed anyone? I'll answer for you. You don't", with that I pushed away from the table after having only eaten an apple and went back to my room to get dressed, ignoring the stunned faces of everyone at the table. I shouldn't have said that, but I'm only human and I had just recently killed a person. It does things to you, messes with your head. When you're actually doing the killing, you can block it out, but later, it gets harder. They say that the more you kill, the easier it gets. You just don't care anymore. I suppose that's what happened to Jayce.

My phone, the one that only Hunters had the number for, went off. I picked up without thinking.

"Hello?"

"Katari? Wonderful. I wanted to call and tell you how wonderful your entrance was. Your stylist is _brilliant_", Somehow, Jayce's tone didn't convince me.

"Ok, now what did you really call for?"

"Can't I call to congratulate you? Does there have to be some ulterior motive?"

I rolled my eyes, even though he couldn't see, "No, there doesn't have to be, but with you, I know there is"

"And you would be right. Just want to tell you that you are to join the careers, just for show. It's tradition, you know. Also, remember what I said about killing. Oh, and in training you are to focus on edible plants and painting, the only two things we never taught you. Do not show them how good you are. And get a mediocre score in your evaluation. Don't let them think you're too much of a threat. I don't want them killing you right away. Bye"

The phone went dead.

I walked out of my room to see Marlin dressed and ready to go. He looked even more tired than I felt though. Without so much as a word, we headed to the training area where they pinned fours to our backs. There were zero other tributes here. Why should they be there? It was five in the freaking morning.

Marlin went straight for the throwing knives. He wasn't very good at it, and as I sat learning about edible plants, I watched out of the corner of my eye and critiqued his form. He should turn his body more. Flick his wrist more sharply. He was holding the blade wrong. I could go on forever.

When the other tributes started to arrive, I noticed that they all looked nervous. The tributes from two arrived about an hour after us. The girl was tan, with deep black hair and brown eyes. She was on the shorter side, and very pretty. Her partner was far taller than even me. Incredibly muscular, with bright red hair, he glared around the room and tried to mask his obvious fear. It probably worked on everyone but me. Next came district six, then seven, then twelve. The girl from twelve stood out particularly because she looked even more scared than anyone else. She had dark hair and grey eyes, typical of the district twelve tributes, but she was almost in tears. I discreetly checked the photos I had in my pocket. I carried them with me for this purpose, to be able to compare. Yep, she was there. I would have to watch what she was good with.

The tributes from three were next. They were both ghostly pale. I wrote them off as easy prey in seconds. The tributes from one were tall, blonde, and perfect. And I would have to work with them. At least for a day or so. Because the boy was my other target. He was tall and muscular and had a way about him, a certain way he walked, that said he was a predator. It warned you to watch out, or you might just end up dead. He was graceful and calculated in his movements, and he didn't look like he cared what anyone thought of him. Well, that was good, because I didn't think of him as anything more than a dead man walking. He looked at me, right in the eye, and motioned me over. I went, and he asked, "Are you in or out?"

"Sorry?"

"The alliance. Are you in or out?"

I remembered what Jayce had said, or rather demanded, and sighed. I really didn't want to, but I had to, "In, I suppose."

He nodded once, and found Marlin, then the two's. They were all in.

At the painting station, I watched the twelve girl throwing knives. She never missed. Not once and her form was incredible. She didn't blink and not one hair was out of place as the knives flew from her hands. It was almost as if every hair on her head was afraid that if it made one wrong move, she would do something unspeakable to it. And I didn't doubt that she might. Despite the frightened look on her face, there was something in her eyes, something animalistic and lethal.

Around two, the boy from one, whose name I found out was Joel, challenged me to an arrow shooting contest. How could I refuse?

The other contestants watched warily as he shot an arrow into the perfect center of the bulls eye. The only thing that worried them more was when I shot mine and it went straight through his, slicing it exactly in half. I gave him a slight smile and walked back to the edible plants station. There were uncomfortable glances at me the rest of the day.

Every day from then on during training I did exactly what Jayce had told me, particularly after that first day when he called after training to remind me that if I died because of my stupidity, he would gleefully torture my family. I stayed at the edible plants table and painting station. He was not happy with me for the stunt I had pulled. Not happy at all. He wanted me to get in better with the careers to prevent an incident. So I sat with them at lunch, the careers. The last day, the day of the judging, I was the last of the little group to go. I threw a few knives, which ended up with each one sticking out of the one I had thrown prior. And then I thought about how stupid I looked, how the gamemakers were hardly even paying attention I was so terrible. It was humiliating, and I could no longer stand it. I decided to disregard Jayce's warning. I shot arrows perfectly and ran rapidly, using everything in sight, killing dummies, flipping around, showing a flexibility that no one should possess, and doing so many other things that they had no choice but to pay attention to me, their eyes wide in awe.

That night, we all sat and watched the scores scroll by. The boy from one had gotten a twelve, and Finnick, Maggs, and Zilli were all impressed, warning us about him. The girl got an eight. Both from two got nines. From three, the boy had a five and the girl a four. Marlin got a nine, and everyone congratulated him. And then my picture popped up. I looked, heart pounding, as the little number popped up. Oh, Jayce would not be happy about this. Everyone in the room got very quiet.


	6. Chapter 6

I watched, silently kicking myself, as that little twelve sat on the screen, mocking me. It seemed to stretch on forever, when in reality, it probably only lasted for a minute. Finnick turned to glare at me. Marlin looked a bit shocked. The only one who looked remotely calm was Maggs.

Finnick looked pissed as hell as he grabbed my arm and dragged me from the room. He seemed to have a thing for dragging me places.

When we were out of earshot of everyone, he spun on me, "What the hell was that? Do you have any idea what you've done?"

"Um, yeah, I did exactly what they told me to. And I did well. What's wrong with that?"

"Now, the other tributes will have no choice but to kill you. Probably in your sleep. Is that what you wanted?" He looked like he would be yelling, if he hadn't been worrying about people hearing him. As it was, a rather large vein was popping out of his head and his face was turning some interesting shades of red and purple.

"If they can't find me, how can they kill me?" I asked, laughing a little. It most definitely was not me who needed to watch out. Even though I had told him I was well trained, he probably thought I was just another cocky career. It was probably better that way, I decided.

"The other careers will kill you!"

"Well, then that's my problem. But clearly the fact that I got a twelve says something. But to make you feel better, I leave before they do. Okay?"

He looked confused at that. Then even more livid. Then finally seemed to process it and calm down a little.

"And how will you survive on your own?" He demanded.

"I have ways. I guarantee I will have no shortage of sponsors" That was an understatement. I'd have the Hunters, who wouldn't even have to pay as long as I was killing people well enough for Jayce's taste.

"Okay, and you are so sure of this because?"

"I was told"

After a few more harsh words and scolding, he let me go to sleep so that I would be ready for the interview in the morning.

My dress for the interview was gold with a sweetheart neckline and aqua jewels spiraling down my right arm. My eyes were smokey and my hair was done up and curly. Clearly, seeing how short the dress was, I knew my stylist expected me to go for sexy as my interview angle.

As I sat there, I watched as the girl from one walked up to the chair with Caesar. She looked stunning in a bright red dress that hugged her perfect curves. Her blonde hair was curly to the extreme and hung loosely down her back.

She decided to go for sexy and the audience was captivated. She was stunning and they ate it up. Joel went for the confident killer. He was good. Of course he was. He had been trained for this. When Caesar asked about his score, he hinted, with a gleam in his eye, that it had something to do with a very creative use of a toothpick.

The two's weren't very memorable, nor were the threes, and then it was my turn.

"So, Katari, how are you today?" Caesar asked.

"Lovely", I said sarcastically, " How are you?"

"Wonderful", He actually seemed to mean it, "So, Katari, everyone in Panem is wondering how you managed to get such a high score? Were there any toothpicks involved?"

I smiled one of those scary, mess-with-me-and-you-will-be-missing-something smiles, "Caesar, that score was the result of many things. And you know I can't tell you what. You'll just have to see in the games."

"It doesn't sound like you're very scared"

"Why would I be?" I shrugged, "I'm going to win. I have no doubt in my mind. The only thing that worries me is how I'm going to decorate my house. What do you think, blue or aqua for my room?"

Everyone laughed, and I heard excited whispers in the front.

The buzzer sounded, and Caesar sighed, "Well, it seems as though our time is up. Good luck to you"

I returned to my seat, and Marlin went up. He was kind of boring. The only other interview I wanted to see was the girl from twelve. She had gotten an eleven and she went for mysterious. He had her talking about her little sister, who had just died, drowned. I felt a little sympathy. It had probably been arranged by the Hunters.

Before I knew it, the interviews were over and I was back in my room, drifting to sleep.

The next morning, I found myself on a hovercraft, not even close to as austere as the ones the Hunters used, but still it was also more rickety. I was a bit scared that it was going to suddenly fall out of the sky. That would suck.

I was finally released into a dressing room and I had never been so happy to get out of a hovercraft in my life. In the room, Narcissus was waiting. For once, he had nothing flashy for me to wear. Instead, he handed me a wetsuit that cut off like shorts and had short sleeves. Then, there were black shorts and a white shirt to go over it. A shiny gold belt went around the shirt.

It was a blur. Saying goodbye to Narcissus. Him wishing me luck. Jayce entering and reminding me of some of the rules. Getting on the platform. It rising up, seeming as though it was taking forever, into the strangest blend of places I had ever seen in an arena.

I rose in the middle of a vast, hot desert, the sun beating down on my back. On the horizon, maybe half a mile away, I saw water. A lot of water. With really big waves. An ocean. Behind me, there were trees. An entire forest. Around me, I saw tributes squinting and looking around. We were positioned in a large circle, girls on one side, boys on the other, and everyone was directly opposite their district partner. The worst part of this situation was that I could clearly see Marlin across from me. Why was this bad? Because the cornucopia was barely there. Standing about four feet high, it was pathetic. The meager supplies it offered appeared to be a bit of food, some backpacks, lots and lots of water bottles, and very few weapons. I could clearly make out a sword and an axe. That was it. Maybe one of the bags contained some knives, but that was a stretch. So it was kill with your bare hands or make weapons. This was going to be majorly sucky.


	7. Chapter 7

The second that the gong sounds, I am off the plate, headed toward the cornucopia much faster than most of the others. There are only two others that I will have to compete with, Joel and the girl from twelve. I make it first because Joel was tripped by a falling body, the boy from three. I notice that he isn't dead, just uncoordinated. The girl from twelve hesitated. By the time they arrive, I have two packs and the sword. She got the axe, much to my regret. I almost wish it had been Joel. At least he will be on my side for some amount of time.

The boy from seven rushes at me, I see it from the corner of my eye, and too late I realize that something is wrong with the sword. As I shove the sword at the boy's chest, which should kill him, it simply bounces back off. Rubber. Damn it. Throwing it too the ground, I set down the packs and grab his neck with both hands. His fingers claw uselessly at my hands. he is unable to breathe and his face is turning bright red. His mouth is opening and closing like a fish out of water. But he refuses to die, and I have others to deal with.

I knee him in the stomach, stomp on his foot, breaking a fair number of bones, and, just for show, snap a few of his fingers. Then I end it quickly by shoving his nose into his brain. I glance down to get my packs, only to find that Marlin has picked them up and that everyone except the careers have run into the forest. I see two others dead, both at the hands of Joel. Necks snapped, heads turned almost all the way around. Not much of a bloodbath, nothing like what it normally is here. I assume that most of the other tributes didn't want to bother with the miniature cornucopia and ran instead. The other careers didn't give chase because there were no weapons to use really, and they were lost without them. So I still had twenty more tributes to get rid of before I could leave this place and go home.

We set up camp, checking each of the packs. There are indeed a set of wicked knives in one of the ones I open. Perfect. Instead of pooling them like everyone else is, I slide three into my belt, leaving five. I have the two throwing knives and one wicked looking one with a curved blade and two points. The rest are much smaller. I give them to everyone, and they eye me warily, though they say nothing of the fact that I have taken three for myself.

One other axe is found, which Joel takes, and the rest is food and water, though each of us ends up with a pair of nice sunglasses and there are four pairs of night vision goggles.

"Hunting, anyone?" Joel breaks the silence.

"I think that at least two should stay", The redhead from two says. I still don't know his name.

"I'll stay", Marlin volunteers.

"Me too", Says the girl from two.

"Great. Okay, let's go. The majority will be in the forest", Said the redhead.

We grabbed a few bottles of water, the sunglasses and night vision glasses and headed off in the direction of the forest.

"Now, I was just wondering, how do you intend to kill them?", I asked, smirking a bit, "Sorry, but there aren't any weapons and I didn't see you kill anyone at the Cornucopia."

The redheaded guy looked like he wanted to strangle me, as if he could even get his hand within a foot of my neck, but the blonde from one shot him a glare, "Don't, Red," Then she turned to me, "They ran too fast"

This time Joel laughed, and both turned on him, "Hey, guys, unfortunately, she's got a point"

This time Red (Props to his parents for such a creative name), launched himself at Joel. Faster than the average person could see, his neck was snapped.

I would give it to the girl from one, she stood there and didn't even blink as he tossed the body aside like a rag doll. She simply turned and kept walking. After a few more minutes, we were in the forest. We had to put on the glasses right away. It was dark as night in here, despite the blazing sun in the desert. I immediately ripped a branch off of a tree that looked sturdy enough, but still thin, and grabbed a rock. I began shaving it down to a point. Looking over, I saw that Joel had a vine in his hand with a rock tied to the end. Looking a bit closer, I started laughing.

He frowned, "What?"

"That's...poison...ivy!" I choked out finally.

He dropped it like a hot potato, but the damage was done. I could already see the red bumps popping up. Backing up out of his reach, I asked, "Haven't you ever seen it before?"

He shook his head.

I rolled my eyes, "Okay, well, the rule is if you see three leaves, don't touch. Got it?"

He nodded again, and chose not to pick up anything else. We walked silently for a while, until both Joel and I heard a slight rustling in the trees. Ruby, the girl from one, seemed oblivious and kept walking. I grabbed her arm and silently motioned that there were people nearby and that she needed to stay quiet. I tried to tell her to stay here and wait in case they came out of the tree, then handed her a rock.

Joel glanced at me and nodded, then turned and began climbing the trunk of the ancient looking tree. Really, it was probably only a few years old, but it was thick, at least thirty feet around. Luckily the bark was rough and had dips in it because there were no branches for about twenty or so feet up the trunk.

We made it to the branches rather quickly and began scampering stealthily along the forest canopy toward the source of the noise. We found it after a minute. It was the camp of two people. It looked like the girl from seven and the boy from twelve. They were roasting some sort of plant and eating some berries. They had no idea that they were about to die. Poor them.

Like a two man army of death, we dropped out of the trees onto their camp. Joel landed gracefully behind both of them while I landed in the center of the fire. It went out immediately. It wasn't very big. The fear on their faces was clear. The girl looked about sixteen and the boy was about seventeen. Joel moved like lightning and snapped the boy's neck, but I put the girl into a headlock.

"Wait", I said when he moved to finish her as though I couldn't, "I think we should give our viewers a show", I smiled what I hoped was a scary smile.

He grinned, "I like the way you think" And he picked up the sharpened stick I had dropped, plus a vine that I assured him was not poison ivy. We tied her up easily, her hands above her head, and dangled her from a sturdy tree branch so that her feet were off the ground.

I circled her like an artist would circle a blank canvas, which at this moment she was to me, "Now, where to begin" I grinned as she whimpered in fear.


	8. Chapter 8

The girl was shaking uncontrollably, silent tears streaming down her face when I finally took the stick from Joel and drew the first cut, right across her left cheek. She cried out in pain. If she thought that was bad, everything else was going to be horrendous for her. I started slashing deep gashes across her arms when I finally remembered the knives I had stored in my belt. Mentally kicking myself, I dropped the stick and pulled out my personal favorite, the one with two points that was as long as my forearm. Joel picked up the discarded stick and joined in, gouging her pretty eyes out of her face ever so slowly.

I moved on, overjoyed with my remembrance of the knives, and began slicing her toes off, one by one. She screamed shrilly through the whole thing. I moved on to her fingers and then when I was done and she had passed out, I drove the knife into her heart.

As we moved away from the limp body so that the hovercraft could take it, we heard not one but two cannons and something dawned on both of us, and without having to say a word, we ran back to the spot where we had left Ruby. Through all of that, we had forgotten about her and we hadn't thought about the fact that she hadn't made a sound that whole time, which was maybe twenty minutes.

We reached her only to see a blur leaving rapidly and Ruby lying on the ground, blood flowing from her neck. Of course, that was the least of her problems since her head was lying a few feet away from her body.

"Shit!", I yelled. I had no doubts about who had done this. The girl from twelve was the only one talented enough and also the only other one with a weapon.

Joel and I raced back to camp, worried about what we might find. And we were right to be. We reached the edge of the forest and stopped dead in our tracks. Half a mile away, right where our camp had been situated, a blazing inferno roared high into the sky. She had beat us here too. This was very, very bad.

We decided to head toward the ocean after we determined that nothing could be salvaged from the flames. Maybe there was something other than water. Beginning our slow walk through the treacherous sun, I shook my head in disbelief.

Joel noticed, "What?"

"It's hardly been hours in the arena and already someone seems stronger than us", I laughed, "I don't understand"

Her strategy was so direct. She was going to kill everyone as fast as possible until she was able to leave. It was ridiculous. I honestly wished it could be so simple for me. Just burn the forest to the ground, kill Joel, and leave in under a day. No Games had ever been won so quickly, and yet I was starting to doubt that it would be me who would leave alive.

We reached the edge of the sea and sure enough there was an island, not too far off. It was perfect, with white sand and trees and...no. It couldn't be. There, on the island, sat the last person I wanted to see right now. The girl from twelve. I hated her with a passion now. She had destroyed my reserves of water and I was parched. Plus she stood between me and freedom and she was half the reason I was here. Yeah, I could withstand almost anything, thank you Hunter's and your torture, but that definitely did not mean I wanted to. At all. And the funny thing was, I didn't even know her name.

We sat at the edge of the water, back to back, propped up, Joel watching her and me watching the endless desert. It was dull and gave me way too much time with my thoughts. We just sat there doing nothing as everyone I had tortured and killed haunted me. It hurt. They taunted me, the memory. It was horrible. The only thing more horrible was the thought of all the others I would have to kill, not only in the next few days, but throughout my whole life. I was currently sharing watch with one of them. God I wished I could do that, that I had that easy out. Just die and be done with it. But my family would suffer too, and that I couldn't handle. I would have to suck it up and do whatever it took to keep them safe, even if it meant sacrificing my sanity, or worse, my humanity, like Jayce.

After what felt like an eternity, the sun still hadn't set, or even dimmed, hadn't given any sign that it was going away. I was thirsty and I knew I would die very quickly if I didn't get something right now. Luckily, Jayce, true to his word, provided for my needs. A silver parachute landed at my feet just as I felt like passing out. Tearing open the packaging, I found three bottles of water. To keep my alliance in tact, I handed one to Joel. Better to give it to him than to have him decided to try to take it. I downed the entire bottle in a matter of seconds.

A few hours later, with the sun still high in the sky, the faces of those killed flashed across, starting with Ruby, from one, and going in district order. Both from two were there, then the boy from three who I had killed. The girl wasn't there. Marlin came up and I almost felt bad. Almost. I had kind of known him, but it also hadn't been at my hand, and I couldn't spare feelings for that. Then, surprisingly, came the girl from five, the boy from six, both from seven, the boy from eight, the girl from nine, the boy from eleven, and finally, the boy from twelve. What was surprising was that I had no clue that most of them were dead. Damn, that girl had been on quite a spree today.

"Hey, Katari, we should probably sleep, but one of us should stay up and keep watch", The way Joel said this implied that he thought I should keep watch.

"Okay, I'll take first watch. But you're getting up in three hours"

He pouted, "But I need my beauty sleep!"

I laughed, "All the sleep in the world couldn't make that face pretty. Sorry, It'll take alot more than a few extra hours for you. You should consider some extensive facial remodeling", I grab a rock from the ground, "Here, I can do that right now, if you want to pretty that bad"

He actually laughed at me, "That's okay. And I'll settle for five, but I totally disagree with the beauty comment. I'm sexy and you know it. Seriously, I know you do. Your pupils dilate when you look at me. Meaning you find me attractive", He waggles his eyebrows, and I slap him on the arm.

"Shut up and sleep", My tone was harsh, even though I was grinning.

"Whatever you say, boss"

It's true, he is rather attractive, with messy blonde hair and muscle, and I find that I actually like him. If this was a different situation, I think we would be friends. Unfortunately, only one of us will make it out of here alive. I wish it were different, but he shouldn't have disobeyed orders.

The next few days were slow. The gamemakers (and Jayce) stayed happy because at least one tribute would leave the forest every day in search of food or water, and we would torture them to death. The girl from three was on day two. We drowned her. Slowly. We held her under the water for a minute, then pulled her out, then repeated until, after about an hour, she died. Her agony had earned bread and four waters. On the third day, we got two tributes, the girl from six and the girl from ten. We had skinned the girl from ten alive, but the girl from six was running entertainment. We had her staked to the ground with sharpened sticks that we collected from the forest and left her there to bake in the sun without food or water. We took short dips in the shallower parts of the ocean to keep cool, not because we couldn't swim, but because we weren't sure what lay in wait in the murky water. And through it all, the girl from twelve stayed on her island. I knew she was watching us, but she didn't do anything else. She wanted us to come to her. Well that was too bad. We could hold out longer.

On day three, the girl from eleven wandered out. We grabbed her and slowly sawed her in half with sticks, cause knives were just no fun. She screamed bloody murder, and since we did it in front of the dying girl from six, she screamed as well. That got us a large amount of water and cups to pour it in, plus real meat.

As we enjoyed our feast, Joel suddenly got serious.

"Katari, what do you think of me?"

"Um, is that really a relevant question? We're in an arena to die. Only one person is going to live. It doesn't really matter"

"Well, it does to me", He looked so honest that it caught me off guard.

"I guess...in another life, one where I wasn't a killer, and in a different place, not here, I think...I think I would like you", I bit my lip, not only unsure of what he would think, but what Jayce would think. This could either be really good, or really bad.

He smiled a bit, "I suppose from you that's as good as I'll ever get. So I'll take it" and before I could process what he was even saying, his lips were on mine, warm and soft. In that second, he wasn't a killer, or a target, or even a competitor. He was Joel, and more importantly, he was the first guy to ever kiss me. Hell, as far as I knew, he was the first guy to even like me.

The kiss was gentle, and it caused a slow burn in my chest. Nothing terribly major, but still, it was something. After what felt like eternity and yet only a few minutes, he pulled away a few inches, his hands on either side of my face, and studied me. It felt as though his eyes were boring into my soul, and suddenly I couldn't take it any more.

"Um...I...I think we need more wood. We...um...we should stab her through a few more times...speed it up and...um", I had never been so flustered, so at a loss for words.

He smiled and nodded, "Katari, you are the strangest girl I have ever met"


	9. Chapter 9

I walked slowly across the desert. My emotions were a mess. I didn't know what to do. I had to kill him. I couldn't like him. I wasn't allowed. This was a serious problem. I could just see Jayce now, throwing very expensive things at the walls in whatever room he was staying in at the moment. Then, when he ran out of things already in the room, he would probably order more. This was not good. This was so not good. What would he think? What would he want me to do? What could I do? I didn't want to kill him, not really. I wanted to pretend this had never happened, to wake up and find out that this was all a dream.

Of course I could never be that lucky. I trudged back to camp, my mind reeling, arms loaded with sticks. Suddenly, out of nowhere, a small silver parachute fell at my feet. Inside was something in a bottle. Upon closer examination, it appeared to be a sleep syrup, not very expensive, but effective. And it was a very large quantity of the stuff. Glancing around quickly to make sure no one could see me, I made a quick decision. I dug a hole in the sand and dropped the bottle in, leaving part of the silver visible so that I could find it later, should the need arise.

At camp, nobody had moved. Obviously the girl from six hadn't, but Joel was still in exactly the same place, staring off into the ocean. When he heard me approach, he turned around and stared at me intently for a few seconds before he stood and helped me slowly and methodically shove sticks into the girls body. We didn't say a word. He seemed to be contemplating something, constantly looking over at me. For some reason this felt almost... romantic.

I know, how could shoving sticks into a screaming girl's body be romantic? Right? But in our lives, it was. For some strange reason. Maybe it was just me, that I was just twisted, some genetic sado-masochistic gene in my family. Whatever it was, I found myself leaning closer to Joel.

I brushed my lips against his, briefly, then pulled away, trying to decipher how I felt about it. When I decided it felt good, I kissed him again, more forcefully this time, lacing my fingers through his hair. I think I sort of caught him off guard because he laughed, a smile curving his lips upward.

After a few minutes, he pushed my face a few inches away, "What? Change of heart?"

"No, more like... I figured it out", I tried to go back to kissing him. I didn't really want to talk, like someone who has just discovered alcohol after walking the straight and narrow and ignoring it for so many years has no desire to drink water, or eat, in between.

He wouldn't have any of it, and he was stronger than me, "Okay then, tell me, what conclusion have you come to?"

"I wanna kiss you?"

"Why?"

"Cause. I don't owe you a reason"

"Yes, you do"

"Hey, you kissed me first, and you didn't have a reason. Why do I have to give you one?"

"I said so. Where is this going? Both of us aren't leaving this arena"

"You know what? Nevermind. You killed it", suddenly, I had no desire to be anywhere near him.

"Oh, come on. Can't handle a few questions?"

"No", I started walking away, making a dramatic exit, when I just couldn't help myself. I turned so fast, it would have made a normal person dizzy. I just had to know one thing, "Why did you do it anyway?"

The smirk on his face annoyed me more than anything ever had in my life, "An answer for an answer"

I glared, "I make no guarantees"

He laughed, "Well, I guess... I just wanted to, and... I like you. Like I've never met anyone I liked this much before. No one who truly understood me, what I go through", He gave me a meaningful look and I sucked in a breath. He knew. He knew what I was. He had guessed. Although, if I thought about it, I hadn't tried to conceal it, and any Hunter could guess another, even a hiding one. I shouldn't have been as surprised as I was, "So, I doubt I'll be making it through these Games, not with you here. I like you, and I wanted you, and with that death sentence hanging over my head, why deny myself"

I nodded slowly, "I understand. I like you. That simple. You're funny, and you're right. You won't be leaving. I have family to worry about"

He seemed to understand my meaning, that my family was in danger, and he almost seemed... okay with his fate, "Well, if I have to die at the hands of anyone, I want it to be you"

I nodded again, and he stood up and grabbed both of my hands with both of his and just stood there, staring into my eyes for what seemed like hours. That night, I slept with my head on his chest. It may seem like a stupid move since he might decide to kill me, but for some reason I trusted him. He didn't want me dead, and not just not this soon, but I don't think ever.

The next few days were almost nice. Under the neverending desert sun, we sat and talked and laughed. He told me about his family, his little sister Isabella and his mom. He implied, in our somewhat code, that she was the Hunter in his family, the one who had taught him everything. He talked about what it was like in District one, how their justice building was a bejeweled masterpiece, and how much he hated that grand palace. It reminded him of too much about his life that he hated, about things he had done that he couldn't stand to think about. I, in turn, told him about my family, my twin brother, how I was happy to have been earlier, to have taken the burden away from him of being 'here', as I put it, but I knew that he understood. I told him about my brother, and how he had died in a terrible 'accident' because he had 'messed up'. He got that too. It felt really nice to have someone finally understand my life.

However, it never went past talking, and occasionally him holding me. I knew that Jayce would probably kill me out of spite for what I was telling him right now, what I was doing. I was allowing the emotions through. I cried, I laughed, and I _cared_. I should never allow that. Care for family, yes. Hunters were way into family, for practical reasons, yes, but still. Caring about a target? Definite no no.

On maybe the seventh day, after we had killed the boy from five and the boy from ten, both by painful dismemberment, and the girl from six had finally breathed her last breathe, the girl from twelve started moving. It got hard to tell days apart, with the sun and all. My 'sponsors' kept us well supplies with creams to help the burns though. Anyway, the girl from twelve started assembling something. It was made of wood, sticks to be precise, from trees she was cutting down and shredding with her axe. I also noticed that she was using wood from something else that looked wrecked. Not that I could really tell what either one was. Until the sail went up, woven from palm leaves. We had palms all around District four.

So she was going to sail back here. That definitely explained what she had been dismantling for two days, and why the gamemakers weren't doing something to force us together. She was coming, and there was going to be quite a show.


	10. Chapter 10

The girl launched her boat and seemed to be very careful not to touch the water. I couldn't figure out what she was afraid of. Did she think she was going to melt or something? I'd been in the water with Joel dozens of times, and nothing had happened. Was she just being cautious? Then again, we had never been deeper than four feet. I didn't like the inability to see my feet. It was unnerving, and a Joel hadn't contested it. In the games, you never know what they've laid out for you, any traps waiting to be sprung. For all I knew, there was a fifty foot sea serpent in there.

"If she gets over here, I'm not sure what's going to happen", Joel said from next to me.

"I know. She's good, and even though there are two of us to her one, I doubt she'll go down without a fight"

"Hey, I have an idea", He picked up some really large rocks and piled them up next to himself. Then, he took off his shirt and made a sort of sling and began flinging rocks at her. Now, there was no way I was taking mine off. I still wanted to retain some level of dignity, so I started finding rocks and adding them to the pile.

He wasn't having much luck with hitting her. Or the boat. So I decided it was time for some motivation.

"Come on! My four year old sister can throw better than you!"

He glanced sideways at me, "You have a four year old sister?"

"Well, no, but if I did, she would have much better aim than that crap. I mean come on!", I gestured in the direction of his most recent shot, "That had to be at least thirty feet away!"

"You wanna try?" He offered me the shirt.

"Eww, I'm not touching that sweaty thing"

"Fine. Use yours. I have no objection", he looked pointedly at my chest.

I smacked his arm.

"Ow! What was that for?" He rubbed his arm.

"Really? You're telling me, after everything you've been through, _that_ hurt?"

He nodded and stuck his lip out, pouting, "Kiss it and make it better?"

I rolled my eyes, "Hit her and we'll talk"

Of course, after that, the rocks started getting closer and closer to her, until one finally went through the center of her boat. She shrieked in rage and...was that fear? She scrambled frantically around her sinking boat, trying desperately to plug the hole with something.

I forced a sigh, "Alright, I guess I-" But I was cut off as he placed his lips over mine. We kissed for a minute before I pulled away reluctantly, "Okay, well, w-we should really...um...kill her before we get too...distracted..."

He smiled, "Only if you promise"

I raised an eyebrow, "I make no guarantees"

After many, many more unsuccessful tries at hitting her boat, he finally knocked over her sail. She literally screamed as though in pain and started bawling. still, she started shoving the sail into the hole. She refused to sink. Joel, unfortunately for her, was getting the hang of this, and a rock made another rather large hole in the center. She screamed and cried, and suddenly I noticed something. Coming closer and closer to her were theses shadows in the water. There were two of them and they were massive. Like, I didn't doubt that twenty of her would fit into one shadow.

As her makeshift boat went lower and lower, she grabbed onto the mast, which was the only thing still floating. She clung to it for dear life and tried to pull herself up onto it. She made it, but one of the shadows was getting closer and closer. She decided to make a run for it and dove off. She made it about thirty feet toward us, so she was close enough that we could see her face, full of fear. Suddenly, beneath her, one of the shadows appeared, then water started draining down, then something massive came up out of the water around her, the head of what looked like a shark on serious steroids. The mouth was huge. She screamed bloody murder as the jaws closed around her and the shark sank back down into the murky water.

It took me a minute to realize that my mouth was hanging open in shock. I had seen sharks before, but nothing that large. I couldn't believe my eyes. There was no way I was getting in that water again. Although, the size did explain why we had been safe in the shallower water. The shark, whose head was easily ten feet high, wouldn't have fit that close to the shore. It would have gotten stuck even further out than that. I wondered how she had known what was in the water before. Oh well, that was one secret she would take with her to her watery grave, along with her name, which I still didn't know. But that was a pretty bad way to go, eaten by one of the Capitol's mutts, or mutations, that they had left over from the rebellion.

"So", Joel broke the silence.

"So"

"That was almost...anti-climactic"

I whirled to look him in the eye, "You call that anticlimactic? What the hell did you just see? I'm pretty sure that I am not alone when I say that getting eaten by a giant shark is so _not_ anti-climactic"

"I don't know, I guess I was just anticipating her coming over here and chopping my arm off or something. And then she's just gone. She didn't even go out fighting."

"Wouldn't you be paralyzed with fear if a shark of massive proportions was trying to eat you?" I looked at him, and remembered who I was talking to, "Nevermind, I'm not sure you have enough self-preservation to comprehend such a thing"

"Whatever. So, what do you want to do? Should we go hunting?"

"I think that was enough for today. We can go tomorrow."

"Sure. Anything you want" He grinned in his adorable way and wrapped his arms around my waist, falling back into the sand. I laughed and kissed him. I wanted to draw out our time left as long as possible, even if it was only a few days. Every second counted. He seemed just as happy to kiss me, and we stayed like that for a while. It was sweet, and gentle, until suddenly his lips crushed against mine, hard, becoming more urgent, and he flipped us so that he was on top of me.

Everything started feeling really hot, and I noticed something pressed against my abdomen that I wasn't really sure what to think of, so I pushed him back. He didn't respond at first, so I pushed a little harder. All that did was cause him to grunt, and pin my hands next to my head. Okay, that did it. I wrapped my legs around his waist, flipped our positions, and twisted away.

Then, I hopped up, breathing a bit heavily, "Damn, you don't take a hint, do you?"

"Neither do you, clearly"

"Hey, if I want you to stop, you stop"

"It's not like it's a huge deal"

"Um, yeah, it kinda is. Since I've never...and besides, we're on national television. Everyone is watching. My _dad_ is watching. He's very...dangerous"

He smiled sadly, "Not like I'll be around long enough for him to do anything. I won't even meet him"

"Stop. Stop saying that. Please." I shut my eyes, shaking my head. I so did not want to hear this.

"Katari, you know I'm not leaving. You need to accept that", he said gently as he stood up and tried to put his arms around me.

I pushed away, "No! No, I don't. I won't! I-I don't have to do anything! And you don't know that! You don't know that it couldn't be you leaving and me dying", I was shouting at him.

"Yes, I do. I won't kill you, and I won't let anyone else hurt you", He gave me a strange look, "Not even you", he reached up and wiped something off of my face. I tear, I realized. I was crying. _I_ was crying. _Me_.

"God, I am so pathetic. I can't believe I'm crying. Are you happy now?" I yelled at him, "I'm crying. I don't believe this. You have reduced me to tears. I haven't cried since...since I was twelve", I said in a small voice, looking him in the eye. I felt terrible. I hadn't cried since my torture session.

"Oh, Katari, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry", He really meant it. He pulled me into his arms and held me there, despite my attempts to get away. I didn't need this, to be weaker than I already was.

He chuckled, "Katari, you aren't going to win this one. I promise I'm stronger than you"

He slowly sat down, pulling me with him, still holding me against his chest. I can't remember how long we stayed like that, but I eventually calmed down. He ran his fingers through my horribly tangled hair and whispered in my ear and stroked my face. I didn't understand any of this, how any of it could be happening, why he cared so much, and even more, why I cared. It was so strange to me.

Suddenly, I made a decision. I looked up at him, knowing I probably looked horrible. And I knew he didn't care. I pressed my lips to his, "I was thinking...I mean, I decided, I don't care...about being on television...or my dad right now...and I just-" He cut me off, pressing his finger to my lips to silence me.

"You're sure?"

"Yeah. I mean, if you still want to..." My cheeks were burning, "I understand if you don't. I still don't know why you tolerate me...or even like-" Again, he cut me off.

"I don't like you", when I started to pull away, feeling tears prick my eyes, he pulled me back, "No, no, not what I meant. Would you let me finish? I was going to say that I love you."

"Oh"

"Yeah"

He smiled, and his lips were on mine again, and for once I didn't care what anyone else thought, I didn't even think about them. I just gave in to Joel and gave myself to him completely.


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: Okay, umm, this chapter gets reallllly graphic and violent toward the end, so if that bothers you, I recommend you skip that part. You should be able to find it. I mean it really goes in depth and is pretty twisted, so watch out. Actually, I'll mark it. With stars. **

I sighed and reluctantly moved my head from Joel's chest, "We really should start moving before they do something drastic and make us. I'd rather not find out if those giant...things that ate that girl in the water can move on land. I never know with the Gamemakers"

His mouth was turned down in a manner which suggested that he was not very pleased with my suggestion, "Or, we could stay here and wait for them to kill each other off. I think we've done enough murdering, don't you think?"

I opened my mouth to argue, and then got a better idea. I stood up and smiled down at him, "Okay. That works. Just promise me you won't forget me" And then I took off. Even though he was stronger than me by quite a bit, I was much faster. He would never catch me. I ran through the scorching heat of the desert and into the cooler confines of the dark forest.

I pulled on the night glasses so that I could see better. Distantly, I heard Joel screaming my name, but I jumped up onto the nearest branch and flew through the trees, hoping for some sign to tell me which way to go. Of course Joel could follow me, but it would be a bit more difficult than I made it being me and being difficult to track, because he didn't have his night glasses. I did.

He had stopped calling my name. I couldn't hear him following me, his training combined with the fact that he wasn't that close by, but I knew he was there somewhere, following me on the ground. I just kept moving rapidly.

After maybe an hour of aimlessly going in circles, I stopped on a branch in some sort of evergreen tree, and sighed, "I really wish I knew what direction I should go", okay, this would sound a little...odd to most people, but it was the only way I could think of to ask Jayce for help without outright saying, hey Jayce, wanna tell me where the other two are so I can kill them mercilessly and then kill myself? Because that was what I fully intended to do...sort of. I was still torn. My family, or Joel. Would Jayce really kill them if I died? I didn't even have to think. Yes. He would. Maybe if I stabbed myself and pretended to die, he would get me out and torture me for a bit, but leave my family alone. I would have to try.

Two minutes after wishing for a location, a silver parachute fell to my left, a little way away. I knew this was telling me where to go because Joel was nowhere nearby and parachutes usually fell at the person's feet. This one was at least two yards away. I scrambled through the branches and opened it to find water, only then realizing how thirsty I really was.

After draining the entire bottle, I moved on, being even more careful about the noise I made, or rather didn't make, as I followed the direction that the parachute had landed in. After about ten minutes, I began hearing sounds, like something crackling, and a light began to show. It hurt my eyes because the glasses were so light sensitive. When I took them off, there was almost nothing like light, but as I got closer, it grew to the slow light of a camp fire, and both the girl from eight and the boy from nine were sitting around it. A quick survey told me that there were a few traps around the camp and that they had made spears for themselves. It wouldn't take too much effort to get rid of them, but what fun would that be?

After much mental debate about what sort of entrance to make, since it would be my last and therefore needed to be dramatic, I decided on dropping into the fire. Surprisingly, it actually went out. Whimpy fire. I threw the glasses back on as the girl screamed bloody murder. Great. I just knew Joel heard that. A deaf person would have had trouble missing that one. I grabbed her and broke her jaw, then just for Jayce, I steeled up everything in me, made a fist, and plunged it into her chest.

You have to make a fist and go up from under the rib cage, otherwise you will break you fingers. It doesn't make the inside feel any different though. Squishy, warm, and you can actually feel the organs and muscles and, of course, the blood flowing out around your arm. But you have to be very fast if you want it to have the proper effect, because that's the only way it works, so you only feel that sensation for a few seconds, if you're good. So, with my hand firmly lodged in her chest, I grabbed hold of her heart and wrenched it free. Yes, that does require quite a bit of muscle, and no, I do not recommend that anyone try this. It's a terrible sensation for both parties concerned.

The heart was still beating, which is the point of being fast, as she collapsed, lifeless, to the ground. This was going to be the most gruesome kill yet. With her dispatched, I turned to the boy, maybe fourteen, who was cowering against a tree. With a vine, I tied him to said tree, or a branch rather, and forced his mouth open. The heart had stopped beating, that drama gone, but this. This was good too.

I shoved it into his mouth and told him to bite, then chew, then swallow, and that if he threw up, I would cut to tiny bits while he was conscious. He did what he was told, no vomit, and ate the entire heart. I was almost disappointed. But there was more fun to be had. I ripped off his finger. Yes. Ripped it off. Then, I forced that down his throat, along with the other nine, and his toes. Then I simply shoved my fist into his abdomen, squished a few organs that felt rather vital...okay, I knew they were vital. And he died.

And then Joel came bursting through the trees.


	12. Chapter 12

Joel glanced at the bodies, then stared at me. He said nothing though, and the silence was killing me. It stretched on and on until finally he said something, "You ditched me"

Anti-climactic, yes, but the silence was broken, "Yeah"

"And what did you hope to accomplish? Killing them? Because I could have done that with you", He looked seriously pissed now.

"I just...I was going to-"

"I know what you were going to do!", He yelled, and I actually cringed. I never cringed, just like I never cried. This was ridiculous, this boy who could get reactions out of me that torture couldn't even accomplish.

"Do you want me to apologize? Because I won't"

His jaw hardened, "And how did you know I wouldn't before you did?" He ground out.

I snorted, a sad smile playing across my face, "I knew because I know you, and you're the type that needs closure, needs to say goodbye."

"And you're not?"

"Things...aren't as messy when you neglect upsetting situations that might cause you to hesitate. Hesitation is bad. It can get you killed and you know it"

"No, Katari, you hesitating this time is what's going to save your life. It's what's going to kill me" His voice was like steel, his jaw set, his mind made up.

"No. I refuse to accept that. It's my turn to die. Everything that I've done...i deserve to die", Traitorous tears were streaming down my face.

"And what about your family? Did you think about what this would do to them?" He thundered, "No! Of course not!"

"They'll be better off without me!"

"You and I both know that isn't true"

"I don't want to live. I've done so many horrible things, and I won't let your death be on my hands too." I pulled the knife I had been keeping out of my belt and held it to my chest.

Immediately, his voice was gentle, "Don't I at least get a kiss goodbye?"

I laughed, "No. Because you would try to stop me, and I can't let you" And I shoved as hard as I could. They say that you have a natural, knee-jerk reaction built in to your subconscious that won't allow you to put a knife into yourself, that you can't do it because of some base instinct built in over millions of years of evolution. Well I say, whatever idiot thought that up, needs to think again.

The point was cold and unforgiving as it scraped my rib, only, I was still alive, still breathing. Because the knife had stopped dead. I screamed in rage as Joel grabbed my wrists and stopped me from pushing it any further. I tried to keep going, to end everything, all of my misery and self-loathing, and to save the only person who had ever really cared about me who didn't have a genetic responsibility to all in the same motion, but my strength was nothing compared to his. He managed to take the knife away and toss it to the ground, then pulled my back to his chest and held me there. No matter how many times I stomped on his foot, or how many bones I broke in his foot, he held me there, his cheek against my hair. No matter how much I cried and screamed, his fingers never stopped rubbing soothing circles on my hands.

When he decided that I had calmed down enough that he didn't have to fear me biting him, he turned me around and I buried my face in his chest and cried silently. He let go of my hands, and I grabbed fistfulls of his shirt, holding on for dear life. He rubbed circles on my back, and whispered in my ear, promising that everything would be okay, but I knew he was wrong.

I had faced the impossible decision, and I had chosen wrong by most people's standards, including Jayce's. That meant punishment, unimaginable pain that would make what I had gone through at age twelve look like a luxurious vacation at the spa, and worst of all, my family, particularly my father, would know what I had been willing to sacrifice for a guy I had known for less than a month. I had nothing to look forward to. My family would hate me, Jayce would kill me, then bring me back just so he could do it again. repeat until he was happy, then bring me back one more time to parade before the public. Then he would probably order someone to kill me and make it look like a freak accident. So, yeah, I was pretty much screwed and Joel would be dead so I had absolutely nothing to look forward to and everything would definitely not be okay.

Gently, he started moving, but I was too far gone to care much. I figured he was probably getting uncomfortable standing there in exactly the same position. So, when I felt rope around circling me and a tree, keeping me there for at least ten minutes, I panicked.

"Wait! No! Not yet! I'm not ready for you to go yet!" I cried as he picked up the knife that still had my blood on the tip.

A sad smile played across his lips and he waled over, gently kissing me on the lips one last time, whispering, "I love you", in my ear, before stepping back and plunging the knife into his stomach.

"NO!", I screamed. This wasn't real. This was not happening. Not yet. Not now. I wasn't ready for this I'd had so little time with his, it wasn't fair. And then I was mad. How dare he make me care about him, only to do this to me? How dare he! If he was still alive I would kick his sorry ass until he was in a coma and couldn't do anything stupid. And then I was mad at myself for not doing that when I had had the chance. I was so stupid.

And then the cannon fired.

I broke down, sobbing uncontrollably. I vaguely remember them announcing me the winner and someone coming out of a hovercraft, cutting me free of the ropes, and carrying me into said hovercraft. But what happened next is still crystal clear.

I was set in a chair, where Jayce was sitting in front of me. He was smiling that awful smile of his, and I immediately wanted to leap out of the chair and kill him for making my life so miserable, except I didn't have the energy. Any energy, as a matter of fact.

"Good job, Katari. You made a very believable contestant. Props on the acting as well. The audience ate it up. I especially loved the suspenseful end, where you tried to commit suicide, and then Joel did instead!" he clapped his hand together like it was some great joke.

"It wasn't an act", My voice sounded weak and gravelly.

The smile was gone instantly, and that gave me a moment of satisfaction, "Then we will deal with that after your capitol post-game appearance", I knew he had known all along, but me openly admitting it had peeved him, "Now, another matter, you need to decide what you want to have done cosmetically. Of course, they'll get rid of the wear on your skin from the arena, and make you look less skin-and-bone-y, more girlish, not that you ever were, but you never looked this bad. But what do you want to do about that scar?"

I frowned, "What scar?"

"The one Joel gave you when he took the knife"

I had never noticed the pain, not once, so this took me completely by surprise, but I didn't even have to think about it, "Don't touch it. Put tattoos around it and make it prettier if you want, but it stays"

"Good, I think the people will like that decision", he sneered, "Oh, and the President has requested something special, but I can tell you" He smiled again. And, of course, my body chose that moment to give up, and I passed out.


	13. Chapter 13

My head hurt. That was my first thought as I regained consciousness, closely followed by a groan because my father was going to come in at any moment and demand I get up and train. My test was coming up, and I had to be ready. It had to be at least four in the morning. He had already let me sleep in. He probably had something nasty planned for me today. Like that time when I was fourteen and he had dangled me from a tree by my foot, tied my hands uncomfortably behind my back so that any movement caused pain, and then he had dumped a bucket of some raw meat below me and left. Very shortly, at least three ravenous wolves and a bear had shown up. I had had to kill them with my bare hands while one of my thumbs was broken and I had a nasty scratch across my abdomen. The Hunters had sent me off to get the scars taken care of.

Someone shook my shoulder. I groaned and tried to roll over, away from the sudden light that flooded my room. I definitely did not want to face any of that today. My whole body was throbbing, particularly my face, down the entire left side. My heart too, though I didn't know why that would bother me. And my right hand. There pinpricks of pain spiraling up from my pinkie to a spot just below my elbow. There was something about that spot that tugged at my memory.

I finally gave in and decided that I had to get up. I couldn't let my dad down like my brother had. My family had to live, and that meant someone else had to die.

The second my eyes opened, though, the world shattered. Everything came flooding back, every horrible second of every terrible thing that I had done. And worst of all, Joel came back. His death. And I felt the throbbing in my heart increase a million times over. All of this had been brought on by the sight of one man. My delusion was shattered by the sight of my cruel uncle. And all he said was, "Do you want a mirror?"

After glancing at my reflection, I felt sick. The scar was there, plain as day. The only difference seemed to be the pale, silvery swirls flowing from it. It was incredibly thin and neat, and in its own way, looked pretty. My hand was a completely different story and I cringed away, briefly considering cutting it off. There were rubies. They wound around my pinkie, down across the back of my hand, around my wrist, and up to that point on my arm that I now realized with horror was the exact point to which my arm had been embedded in that girl's chest.

Without thinking I tried pulling one off, but it wouldn't move. I pulled harder and harder until it popped free, revealing bone. Quickly, two doctors ran into the room and kept my arm immobile while they replaced the ruby and muttered, "Sorry, I don't know how that came out", and "Must not have paid enough attention to this one".

I glared angrily at Jayce, "Why?"

He smiled that hideous smile, "Because I want you to be proud of what you did"

"No one should be proud of what happens in that arena. It's barbaric and you just do what you have to"

"In case you have forgotten", the smile disappeared, but his voice remained sickly sweet, "You never leave. You will kill and kill and kill, as long as I tell you to, or I will kill your mother"

"You would really kill your own sister, wouldn't you? Just as a show of power", I sat, calculating for a moment, "And what would you do if I refuse. If I kill myself. You can't torture me with her death if I have already died"

He shrugged, "I'd kill her anyway. Now. We have other matters to discuss. You are going to put on a nice show for the cameras and the people, but in two weeks, you are mine. You disobeyed direct orders, you let yourself get attached, you undermined my authority, and frankly, I just think it will be fun to torture you"

"Go ahead. I don't care anymore. I deserve it"

"Uh uh uh, don't be so sure. I think you'll care. Because I have a little surprise from your time in the arena", and without another word, he turned around and left.

It bothered me for days thinking about what he could possibly have meant by that statement. Was he going to drop me in the arena for some period of time? Maybe he would simulate the death of everyone I had killed, forcing me to feel what they had felt. He had been known to do that to people.

Then, it was time. Time to return to the stage where I had done my interview, so sure that this would leave me unaffected. When I was brought up on the platform, following my stylists and Finnick, thunderous applause greeted me. It made me want to do nothing more than hide under a rock. Finnick had come to see me once before this. He had prepped me on what would happen, and had said little else. I think he might have been ashamed of me. I was ashamed of me. One thing he did say, though, that hit me, was, "You weren't kidding about having no trouble killing people"

Caesar greeted me like I was some huge celebrity, "So, Katari, you won the games! Congratulations! How does it feel?"

I managed a weak smile, "I'm just glad I finally get to go home"

"Now you made some pretty astounding kills. Ripping that girl's heart out? I've never seen anything like it! It was incredible! How did you feel?"

"I felt...nothing", I answered honestly. Now, though. Now was a completely different story. Though at least it had been relatively painless for her.

"Oh, you were amazing! Did you know that while you were in the arena, some people gave you a nickname?"

"Umm..."

"No, of course you couldn't have known. They were calling you the Lady Death. Katari, the Lady Death. Has a nice ring to it, right?"

"Yeah, I guess"

"I suppose you weren't watching yourself. You can't know what you looked like, right? I can understand your inability to picture the fear you struck into all of our hearts during your time in the arena. You truly looked like death, what everyone would picture coming to take them away in their final moments. And what better than to show you!" He gestured to the giant screen that I had previously failed to notice and I fidgeted uncomfortably. I didn't want to relive this, much less watch myself murdering children.

The screen lit up with the highlights of the games...at least what everyone in the capitol considered the highlights. There were very few in my opinion.

The screen showed us at the cornucopia, me killing the boy, and-my heart clenched painfully-Joel, snapping the necks of the two others. It showed us plotting, as careers often do, followed us through the dark forest which on camera looked barely darker than anywhere else for some reason. It showed us killing those two tributes, and it showed me a new perspective on the game as a whole. Because it showed who had killed Ruby, and it wasn't the girl from twelve. It was the girl from eight, the one whose heart I had removed from her chest at the end. She and the boy she had been teamed up with from nine. Then it went back to us finding the body. I got to watch us torturing and killing many of the tributes and I tried very very hard not to cry. And then I noticed it. Something off about this showing of the games. They skipped over my entire relationship with Joel. At first I thought it was a fluke that they didn't show it on screen, but it became really obvious after the part with the giant shark and the girl from twelve appeared. It showed me and Joel standing there, him throwing rocks...but none of our joking around. I shoed two contestants intent on killing.

Then, at the end, when it should have definitely been obvious that we had had something, the entire scene had changed, like two different people were there. After being forced to relive my gruesome last killing in which, I would admit, I did look like death come to claim their souls or something, and Joel came bursting through the trees, we started fighting! Really, truly fighting! That definitely hadn't happened. The only truth, after he proclaimed that it wasn't worth it anymore, was when he plunged the dagger into his abdomen. Only this time I stood over his dying body with a cruel smile on my face. This was wrong. This was all wrong.


	14. Chapter 14

**This is a bit graphic (As if everything else hasn't been), but also gives you a bit of insight into why she's so crazy. Sorry, I ran into a little bit of writer's block and some vacations, but I hope you enjoy!**

I was so stunned I didn't realize my mouth was slightly open until my face graced the screen. I quickly closed it and assumed the heartless character I guessed the Hunters wanted me to play. The edited video was probably a not-so-subtle hint, and Caesar's comment was another subtle hint, about me being death. I spoke robotically to Caesar for the rest of my time, not really paying attention to the words leaving my mouth. I was too detached, something they taught you as a Hunter. You had to be able to disconnect yourself from your body.

Inside, however, I was silently fuming, plotting my revenge. How dare he do that to me? Making it seem as though Joel and I had been nothing more than competitors had been what had done him in. I refused to tolerate this. Jayce had no right. Joel had died because of him, I was going to be mercilessly tortured by him, and I had been forced to brutally murder by him, but this sent me over the edge. He was a dead man walking, and I was going to play the obedient Hunter, biding my time until I could strike. If I had my way, he wouldn't destroy anyone else's life and sanity. I understood that some people needed to be killed, but to destroy someone who hadn't even done anything wrong was horrible. What he had done to us, me, Joel, the girl from twelve, every other Hunter who had been forced into service under him. He was going to pay for it. I had never had a childhood. From the second I could think, I had been trained to kill.

True, he hadn't started the Hunters, but he had implemented the tradition of torturing every Heir the day they turned twelve. It was one of the worst memories I had. My birthday, Uncle Jayce had come to my house and told my parents that he wanted to take me on a trip to show me the Capitol. He had taken me there all right, but I hadn't seen any of it. The second I had stepped on the train, I had been blindfolded, tied up, and thrown in some compartment. I had been moved, forced to walk unseeing through some building that reeked of blood after exiting the train. I could hear people screaming all around me. They cried, and I shook with fear.

My father hadn't known what was going to happen. I had been the test subject for his torture methods. They dragged me to a room and strapped me into a chair, only then removing the blindfold. I had wished that they would just put it back, that I hadn't seen the sterile instruments of torture in this room that looked too clean, like a hospital times fifty, only the lights were too dim for a hospital. I tried my best to stay calm, but I was only twelve and I had never seen or felt or heard anything like this. This experience was the scariest thing I had ever experienced, because being taught to torture was one thing, but being on the receiving end was terrifying. Everything about this situation made me want to cry, but I refused. I needed to stay strong, because weakness was unacceptable, and unacceptable led to people dying, usually people you cared about.

After a few hours in the icy room with nothing to do but guess what each instrument was used for, I was pretty much insane from anxiety and fear. Finally, the door opened, and I nearly jumped out of my skin as Jayce entered.

I was almost relieved, but then I remembered that he was the one who had brought me here in the first place. He smirked slightly and walked over slowly, predatorily. "Okay, here's the game. I am going to make you want to die, and that's just in the first few minutes. I will ask you questions, like an interrogation, but you are not to answer, not even a sound. Every sound, and you're going to regret it. Every answer, and a member of your family will be tortured in front of your eyes. Got it?"

I almost nodded, but I was afraid that it would count, so I just sat motionless, eyes wide with fear. He grinned, "Good girl. You catch on fast", and then he picked up a pair of pliers and started pulling of my thumb nail. I screamed involuntarily, and he reached up and broke my nose. I felt blood gush down my face, hot and thick. Red clouded my vision as another nail went, then another. Later, I realized I had bitten through my lip in order to avoid screaming again. My head thrashed from side to side as he moved to my other hand, then my toes. It was agony, and I knew this was just the beginning.

When he had completed his task, he picked up a corkscrew type instrument and a blowtorch. He touched the flame to the end and the metal glowed red. I thrashed violently as he held it close the my thigh, the heat taunting me. And then there was white hot pain as he touched the tip to my skin, and began slowly screwing it into my leg. When I say slowly, I mean almost twenty minutes. He had to heat with the blow torch three more times to ensure maximum heat.

"What is your name?" He growled, and was answered with nothing.

"What is your favorite color?" Again, I was mute.

I couldn't help myself. I screamed again, at the very end. I had been so close, but I had failed, and he proceeded to select a scalpel almost gleefully, then thought better of it and smashed a bottle, grabbing a shard of glass. He started slicing into my knee, and I was so far gone in the pain, I barely noticed the other person who brought in a cart and stuck a needle into my arm. Comparatively, it felt like a flower falling on my arm.

The pain in my knee increased exponentially as things were sliced up with the shard of glass and something was removed. My knee cap, some vague, detached part of my mind supplied.

"Now, are you going to scream again?" I declined to answer, but hot tears stung my eyes, and I passed out. At least until a bucket of ice cold water was dumped on my head.

"Great, now I have to re-heat the screw," He hadn't removed the corkscrew thing from my thigh, and I'm not sure he was planning to. He simply continued to reheat it every time he thought it had gotten too cold.

I spent two days locked in that torture room, but it felt like two weeks. The pain was horrific, but I only screamed two more times after that. My fingers were broken, along with every other bone in my body. I had deep slices all over me that gushed blood. There were long, thick pins sticking out of my stomach and intestines, which he had exposed when he had basically dissected my abdomen. Two of those needles also protruded from my eyes, and many, many other tortures that I had been too out of it to notice had been inflicted. The only reason I was even alive was through a constant transfusion, and even then I was never truly certain that I was still living.

But after those two days, I woke up completely whole, not even one scar to show what had happened. Except the invisible ones that existed in my mind. It was scarred nearly beyond my own recognition. I survived that pain, as did every hunter after me, and every day I wished I hadn't.

Now, sitting there in the hunter's luxurious car with three other hunters as my designated guards to ensure that I did not escape, I remembered the whole episode with horrifying clarity. Hunters remember every detail perfectly, photographically, thanks to their training. Even though we wish we could forget the vast majority of our lives.

What could they do to me now? There couldn't possibly be anything worse than that, not that I relished the opportunity to relive it. I was escorted into the very same building as I had been five years ago, to the very same room, restrained in the very same chair. Now, that chair was pristine. It had been cleaned of my blood, and possibly that of others, but not the memories. Those could never be removed.

This time, I was not kept waiting long. Jayce strode in, whistling a happy tune, a lullaby as a matter of fact. He regarded me carefully, before speaking, "Katari, I never once thought I would see you in this room again, though I can't say I'm disappointed about that. You were the strongest I have ever tortured. Not one of your family members had to be killed and you barely screamed! And at only twelve. You were truly made for this, and I absolutely relish the opportunity to see what your new limits are, how you have grown. But I am disappointed in you over why we are here. Over a boy? Really, Katari, couldn't it have been over something worthwhile?"

"It was worth it, every second", I spat, "Not that you could every understand any form of emotion you sick, twisted bastard"

He honestly looked amused, almost thoughtful, "Of course, you're absolutely right about all of it. I am sick and twisted, and I can't fathom any emotion other than the joy of torture. But that is what makes me so good at what I do. And that is your weakness," He clapped his hands together, "Now, let's get started, shall we?"

A cart was rolled in with twice as many torture devices as last time. Jayce picked up a long, thin knife, and dragged the blade casually across my abdomen, creating a bloody trail. My face remained stoic, impassive, like I couldn't care less. It didn't hurt that much, anyway.

Jayce tsked, "Pity. You're boring me already. Now where's the fun in that face, hmm? No terror at all."

I gave him a droll look, "Ahhh. Oh my god, please stop, it hurts so much, I'm begging you", I said in a monotone, bored voice.

"Well, I for one would like to change your mood. Let's see some real fear, shall we?", He gestured to someone outside of the door and a struggling form in an identical chair to mine was carried in and placed directly opposite mine, about a foot away. I tried so hard to keep my face bored and uncaring, but inside my heart was pounding with so many emotions. Joy, fear, sadness, confusion, and pain.

"Joel", I whispered quietly.


	15. Chapter 15

"Joel", I whispered quietly.

I shook my head, "No. This isn't possible. You can't be here. This is a trick"

Jayce looked so excited right now it made me want to puke, "Nope. No trick. He's really here"

"But I saw you die!" I cried, tears streaming down my face, "You killed yourself! You were dead!" I yelled, then, more quietly, "You were safe"

Joel nodded, "I did stab myself, and I thought I was dead, but then I woke up in the hovercraft. The doctors fixed me. I'm fine now"

Terror filled me, because I knew what they were going to do. They weren't just punishing me now, they were punishing him. And Joel had never been tortured.

I glared angrily at Jayce, "Let him go", I was praying that I was wrong, "This doesn't concern him. Just torture me, kill me, I don't care, but leave him out of it"

Jayce laughed his nails-on-a-chalkboard laugh, "But Katari, it does concern him. This is between all of us. You see, you didn't torture him properly, and I believe that was part of your assignment. He willingly died at that. So I couldn't let it end there. I had to do the job right. You know you're here because you failed by not torturing him, and there is no better way I can think of to torture both of you than to force you to watch each other get tortured", He grinned, "Just think of this as a fun little game, and of course all games have rules. Rule number one, if you scream or pass out, I will start torturing the other person. If you try to talk to each other, I will torture the other person. Rule number two, if you shut your eyes, they die a slow and painful death in front of you. You must keep watching them. Understand? Good. Now who should I start with?"

Joel immediately said, "Me!", before I had a chance to say anything. So, of course, Jayce turns on me with a hammer and some nails, both long and short.

"No!", Joel snarled, "Don't you touch her you bastard!"

I just looked at him calmly as I breathed a sigh of relief.

Jayce placed the nail right behind my knee and my breathing picked up ever so slightly. As he pulled back the hammer and slowly forced the nail into my flesh, I clung to the reason I was allowing this to happen, the reason I wouldn't scream. The anguished blue eyes that stared back at me almost broke my heart.

Nail after nail went in, and I said nothing. I refused to scream. My skin turned a sickly white from the pain, and as he nailed them into my abdomen and between my ribs, it was hard to breath. My eyes started rolling back in my head and I tried so hard not to pass out. Focusing back on Joel, I noticed he was silently crying and I tried to smile reassuringly, but it turned into a grimace of pain when Jayce finished with the nails and grabbed a blowtorch to heat them.

After what seemed like an eternity of torture, Jayce looked like he was enjoying himself, "You know, as much as I'm enjoying this, I'd like to hear you scream at least once. Your boyfriend over here doesn't have a scratch on him and I need to fix that"

I glared up at him and he laughed. Picking up a long, curved knife, he started making cuts across my skin. They weren't too deep, though he did feel that I needed some blood and had one of his assistants put an I.V. in my arm. The pain of the cuts wasn't even close to his previous methods of torture, and I didn't understand how he expected to get me to scream from them. It was almost a relief, because it was causing me to go numb thanks to extreme blood loss. At least until he picked up a bottle of clear liquid and poured it across each cut slowly and carefully. I tried so hard to remain silent, save a small whimper which he disregarded, but it felt like liquid fire burning me alive...that is, until he really set me on fire. I couldn't help it anymore, and Jayce got a horribly gleeful look on his face as the scream left my lips.

Joel looked relieved, but it nearly killed me, "No! No, no, no!", I started yelling. It didn't matter anymore. Jayce was going to hurt him anyway, "Leave him alone!" I broke down, but Joel gave me a small smile, grimacing when Jayce ripped out his thumbnail. He ripped out every nail on both hands and I flinched every time. I kept screaming at him, and finally he got sick of it and turned around, hitting me with the pliers still in his hands. Warm blood ran down my face and into my eye.

He continued with Joel, now pretty much skinning him alive.

"Please, Joel, just say something!", I cried. He shook his head slightly. He looked way to determined to scream, even though he was grinding his teeth and his face was drained of all color. When Jayce got to his knees, he couldn't take it anymore, and Jayce turned back to me. I managed a weak smile of relief as Joel started shouting obscenities, but I tuned him out and suddenly, I felt like I was floating above everything. I could see what was happening, watch myself being tortured and Joel yelling, but I didn't feel it. It was pure bliss. This was the same thing that had gotten me through the last time. For a split second I thought maybe I was smiling and that would bore Jayce, but no, my face still bore an expression of incredible pain and misery.

For hours I watched the horrible suffering my body endured, and the mental anguish that Joel did, but I felt like I was flying, free of pain. Eventually Jayce got bored, after about a day, probably in part because my body was no longer recognizable as anything more than a mangled mass. He got up and left, two surgeons taking his place. They sedated both of us and I was pulled back inside myself, finally allowed to sleep.


	16. Chapter 16

Waking up was like being ripped out of a really fluffy, soft, feathery bunch of clouds, if those clouds weren't made of water, but were in fact as soft and fluffy as they look. It just plain sucked. On the up side, nothing really hurt. It was more of a dull ache. I turned my head slightly to the left, and noticed that my hands were bound. A glance to the right showed me Joel. No cuts. No scars. Skin intact. I breathed a sigh of relief when I saw his chest rise and fall. So he was alive. Good.

I barely had a moment to take everything in before Jayce entered, "Ah, good, you're awake. I have a job for you. Now, before you refuse me, there's a special bonus for you succeeding. And doing a really, really good job. I need someone to go to a certain gamemaker's house and torture every member of his family in front of him. I want you because, well, frankly you're the only one even remotely as close to cruel as I am. I want someone who can torture children. Which you've done. I want the corpses beyond recognition. Anything you need, we will provide. But you need to be creative, be ruthless, and be totally inconspicuous. You also need to turn it into a believable accident because not even Snow knows about this. And he better not notice our handiwork"

"And what do I get in return?", I asked icily, my voice raw and gravelly.

"You get to keep him", he pointed to Joel, sleeping on the bed next to me.

"Okay, what's the catch?", I asked warily. There's always a catch with that sort of promise.

"Oh, nothing too terrible. He just has to watch every second of it. And if I don't like it, he dies a horrible, painful death. As you know, I can keep people alive for a very long time. Oh, and I want you to bring me his wife. I've got a bone to pick with her", He looked a bit pissed off about something she had probably done. Not that it had to be anything major for Jayce to be pissed, "So, you'll have to explain away her disappearance. Which could prove difficult since she's Snow's sister" He grinned evilly.

It doesn't even require a second thought. I will always be a killer, murdering for the Capitol, and for Jayce, but I won't always get something this incredible in return. I won't always get the chance to save Joel. I lost him once, and I can't do that again, "Okay. I'll do it"

"Excellent! Now, anything you're going to need?"

"I need a blowtorch, a screw driver, some screws, a knife, a surgeon...", I quickly listed off about half a dozen other items, and twenty minutes later he returned with a bag containing the requested items and a team of surgeons. After describing what I wanted the surgeons to do, I was sedated, and they set to work. I hated myself for what I was about to do, but it wasn't going to be any worse than what I would end up doing in the future. I knew I was a horrible person, but I wasn't willing to put the lives of people I didn't know ahead of the lives of people I cares about.

Three hours later, I was on a hovercraft headed toward the Capitol, staring at my hands. My nails had been replaced with long, lethal metal claws, as per my request. It was so strange. Suddenly, the floor to my right opened to show the ground whizzing by at incredible speeds. That meant my stop was approaching. Hopefully not so fast. I crouched by the edge and waited. When the red light came on, I launched myself from the hovercraft, hands extended in front of me, and after a few seconds, they lodged in another hovercraft. The gamemaker's hovercraft. He and his family were going on vacation in the first arena ever built. Or, thought they were going on vacation. Unfortunately, I was planning to crash their party. Even though the hovercraft was invisible, my claws dug in and I flattened against the cold metal while I placed a small charge and then backed up until my feet were dangling off the back. Then I detonated it, leaving behind a two foot hole. The hovercraft slowed, but it wasn't bad enough that it fell from the sky. I slowly crawled forward and dove through the open space, in the middle of a very frightened family. I smiled menacingly, showing off my newly sharpened teeth. I made a mental note to force the surgeons to reverse what they had done as soon as my task was complete. I was just scary now. The gems on my arm glittered like blood and the occupants of the hovercraft were stunned for a moment, before the little girl started screaming. She couldn't have been more than five, and I was instantly sick because I'd have to torture her. There were also twins, much older, probably fourteen or fifteen, and a boy who looked about my age, that I saw immediately. A few minutes later a boy of maybe seven exited the bathroom and a girl who looked older than me ran out of a separate room to see what her sister was screaming about.

The first thing I did was find the pilot, hold a knife to his throat, and threaten not only his life, but his family's, if he didn't keep flying around in circles. He nodded rapidly, sweat beading on his forehead. Then I returned to where the family cowered in the corner, shutting the door behind me, and, after some thought, nailed the gamemaker to the wall and threw his wife into a closet which contained their clothing and supplies. The kids screamed and wailed as I locked every one of them in closets, the twins in one, the boy my age in another, the little girl in a third, seven year old in the fourth, and in the final closet went the girl who was probably a year older than me.

Tears streamed down the man's face as I paced in front of the doors, smiling coldly, "Now, lets see. Shall we play a game? Would you like to pick, or shall I?", I laughed, "No, I think you should have that honor. Okay, here's the deal. I'll describe a form of torture, tell you how long it will last, and...", I number each door by scratching one through five into the doors, "You give me a number. If you refuse to answer, I'll pick for you and torture whoever is the unlucky kid in a much crueler way. And I can keep people alive for days", I whispered that last word in his ear, causing him to shiver, but nod anyway.

"Good, now, let's see. Oh! Okay, here's a nice one to start. It should be relatively fast. I'll just burn them alive. Who gets that honor?"

Shakily, he mutters an almost incoherent, "Four", and I pat his arm before dragging the sobbing seven year old out of the closet and grabbing the blowtorch. I don't tie him up, and he runs. I char bits and pieces of his flesh, and occasionally catch a bit of clothing on fire, until finally he is completely ablaze. He finally died, after writhing on the floor in agony for a bit.

I throw the body back in the closet, "Okay, now, I would have been right about the speedy death part if he had just sat still", I threw a glance at the man, now glaring at me with open hatred and raw pain, "So, I'm not technically a liar. Anyway, next will be a teensy bit slower. See, I'm gonna stick screws in them until they die of blood loss. Who's it gonna be this time?"

After much sobbing and thought, he finally chose number five, the girl who was older than me. Her, I nailed to the floor before picking up the screwdriver and the box of very long screws. She screamed as, one by one, they were forced into her body, until finally, after about an hour, I got bored, and stuck them into her eyes. She died and was put back into her closet.

"Alright, here's a fun one. I'm going to list off the next three, and you have to choose who gets what. And I'll even throw in a fourth. Whichever you don't assign to one of your kids is how I'll kill you. Option one, dismemberment. Option two, I break every bone in their body. Three, I strangle them to the brink of death, but not quite, then, while they are conscious, I pull out their internal organs. And four, I rip out their heart. That one will be very fast, the others excruciatingly slow. Now, we have door number two to start with. How are they going to die?"

He chose the second option, and I kept my word. There was not a bone in their body that was not in pieces. The little girl was next, and she trembled as I slowly strangled her and pulled out her intestines, stomach, etcetera. I laughed. Of course the gamemaker would choose the easy out, not sparing the kids one second of torture. He was weak.

The boy who was my age was last, and he glared daggers at his father as his fingers were removed, his toes, his legs and arms in pieces. Still, he refused to scream, even though he bit through his tongue, and when that was removed, his lip. His ears were removed, then his eyes, and finally, inspired by ancient Egyptians, I grabbed the small hook I had requested and pulled his brain out through his nose.

The pathetic father watched the hour long display, and out of disgust for him, I force-fed him pieces of each of his kids. Sick, yes, but I was pretty messed up. Then I ripped out his heart, but after my fist was in his chest, I wriggled it around for a moment while he struggled to breathe before I removed the heart.

To clean up my mess, I placed charges all around the hovercraft, ordered the pilot to land, and dragged the strangely silent woman off. Then I told him to continue to his original destination. When he hadn't made it twenty yards, I incinerated the hovercraft. But it would simply look like a technical malfunction. I had ensured that.

My ride came and carried us both back to Jayce. He smiled eagerly when I handed off the woman. Then I ran into surgery and woke up my normal self again. Well, I still had the rubies and the scar, but no more claws or pointy teeth.

Jayce entered my room while I was recovering, "Thank you, Katari, as promised you and your little boyfriend are free to leave. You surpassed my expectations. It was cruel and wonderful and something I would have done in my early days. You might turn out just like me if your lucky", He chuckled when I cringed, "Anyhow, Joel is down the hall, to the right, the room with the pretty red door. Can't miss it! It's where we put people who are waiting to be executed", I stand up, ignoring the pain I'm in, and rush out of the room. As I grab the handle of the aforementioned red door, he calls down the hall, "Oh, and your family is dead. Have a lovely day!"


	17. Chapter 17

The door falls slightly open as I sink to the floor in horror. He had most likely been planning to kill them from the very beginning. My whole world had come crashing down the second those words had left his mouth. He was so twisted, I couldn't even begin to imagine what must be going on in his head. I might be a pretty damn messed up killer, but I was nothing like him. He had killed his own sister! And for what? To torture me. Family was one thing I refused to destroy. Well, at least mine. I was fine with killing other people's families. I guess that made me a horrible person too. But still not nearly as bad. Right?

While I had been busy with my mental ramblings, I hadn't even noticed that I had begun to laugh. And laugh. It was a slightly crazy, half desperate sort of laugh, like, okay, I get it, this is just some sick joke. Haha, very funny, my family must be around the corner. I was just waiting for someone to tell me everything was going to be okay, that he had lied, but I knew that wasn't going to happen. They were gone, dead. Who knew how painfully they had died.

And then his arms were around me, holding me, running his fingers through my hair, and the tears started to stream down my face, "They're not coming back", I sobbed into his chest.

"I know. But you'll be okay. You're so strong. Everything will be okay", He sounded so sure. And I wanted to believe him, I really did, but I couldn't. There was something, or someone rather, standing in the way, ensuring that everything wouldn't be okay.

"No, everything won't be okay. Not until I kill him. Until I torture him to death. As long as Jayce is still breathing, I can't be happy", I whispered, realizing what I had to do. The tears started to slow down, the uncontrollable sobs vanished. I had a new goal, and I didn't have time to wast on feeling sorry for myself. That could come later.

Joel squeezed me tighter in his arms, "Could you at least try to be happy right now? At least for a minute?"

I looked up at him, something finally occurring to me, "You don't hate me."

He smiled slightly, "No, I don't"

"Why don't you hate me? I mean, you saw what I did, how I tortured those people, those children. How are you okay with that?"

"I'm okay with you. What you did, I know you didn't enjoy it. It was all over your face. You did it to save me. You did it because you've been trained to do it, because that's all you know, and because you had to. But all that matters is that you didn't like doing it. That's why Jayce killed your family. I'm not sure why, but he was really mad that you weren't having fun", He frowned, "But the biggest reason is that I love you, and nothing you do can ever change that"

I buried my face in his chest again.

"Hey, look at me", He gently pulled my face back so he could see me. His thumb gently wiped a tear from my cheek, "You aren't like him. You never will be. Do you know why? Because you care. Because you don't like killing kids. And because you don't need to torture people to feel something. Right now you feel pain. I don't think he even possesses that emotion anymore. You are different people, and no matter what he says, that will never change"

I smiled slightly, "Thank you"

He smiled back, then gently leaned down and kissed me. It felt so good, like a painkiller for a headache. The pain in my chest seemed to dull the more I focused on the sensation of his lips on mine. He eventually pulled away and stood, pulling me up with him.

"Come on, we should get out of here before Jayce changes his mind and decides he has something else for you to do", He was half joking, half serious. Jayce had some serious mood swings and there was a fair chance that he would come back and start torturing us again just for the hell of it. Joel started walking down the long, sterile hall, his arms still wrapped around me.

We passed two other Hunters on the way out, and one younger girl, probably coming in for her torture session. I honestly felt for her. She had a very small build, with wispy blonde hair. She was shaking uncontrollably, and I could understand why. She was blindfolded and pale, she probably hadn't eaten, she had no idea where she was, and this place smelled sterile but always had the faint smell of blood. It was a scary position to be in when you were always taught that you were the scariest thing out there, the thing that would make even the bravest man run in fear. Because, being the closest thing to the physical manifestation of death is a scary thing.

I stopped Joel for a second and put my hand on her shoulder. She sqeaked in fear. The two guards started to object before I turned a menacing gaze on them. They paled instantly, they knew what I was, and they clearly weren't Hunters. They were right to be afraid. I wasn't the most stable at the moment, and I had no warm, fuzzy feelings for them.

I bent over and lifted the blindfold. Her eyes got wide when she saw who I was, and she looked even more afraid. I tried to smile, "Hey, everything will be okay. Just remember that. There will be alot of pain, but the less noise you make, the better it will be. Just trust me. I can't help you anymore than that and I'm sorry" I replaced the blindfold with the sick feeling that she was going to go live out my worst memories.

Joel was giving me a funny look when I walked back to him. He wrapped his arms around me and we started walking again. "What was that about?", He asked.

"Oh, um nothing, just my bastard of an uncle is going to torture her. Nothing unusual"

"He doesn't usually go after Hunters though, at least not that young, when they haven't let him down"

I looked at him, "Not when you were that age. He stared after you"

"How do you know? Obviously he doesn't tell people about it"

"I know because he started with me. I figured everyone knew by now."

"Oh", was all he said. Not, I'm sorry. Not how unfair or cruel it was, or how strong I was, all he did was hold me tighter and rub his thumb in soothing circles on my arm.

A hovercraft was waiting when we got outside. We got in and noticed immediately that on the couch was a letter. I scanned it quickly, frowned, and handed it to Joel, who frowned as well.

_Dear sickeningly happy couple, as my gift to you for_

_a job well done, I'm giving you a house in District 4._

_I hope you enjoy it, since Joel can't leave unless he_

_agrees to let the surgeons completely remodel his face_

_since people aren't aloud to know that he's still alive._

_It has everything you could possibly want, and I would_

_be happy to supply a few create-your-own avoxes._

**_Jayce_**

"You don't want your face remodeled, right?"

He laughed, "Not if you don't want me to"

"Oh good. I like your face too much."

"Is that so"

"Yes it is. Now be quiet", I snapped and pulled his face down so I could kiss him. He grinned against my mouth and kissed back eagerly. He fell back onto the couch and pulled me down with him.

We stayed there on the couch for the entire half hour it took to reach district four. Hunters had really fast hovercrafts. When the door opened, we hopped out and onto the lawn of a massive house. It was in the Victor's Village of the district, but it was easily three or four times the size of any of the other houses. It was huge, and imposing, and beautiful. But mostly imposing.

I grabbed his hand, and together we went into the mansion. The inside was just as imposing. It was coldly beautiful with pristine black marble floors, columns, a giant double spiral staircase upstairs, and another to the basement. After some exploration, we found a huge pool in the basement along with heated mineral springs. The theme of black marble continued downstairs, giving the cavernous room the appearance of a remodeled cave. The bedroom contained a huge bed and was done in red and black. The kitchen contained everything a person could want for cooking and then some, plus a bar. There were several rooms that were still empty, plus rooms for working out, weapons practice, and a room done for a baby. Still cold and imposing, with a green and white crib in the corner.

"I think Jayce is trying to give us a hint", Joel muttered upon entering that room.

"No, you think?", I responded, my voice dripping with sarcasm.

He chuckled, leaning over to plant a kiss on my lips, "I say we listen", he said against my lips.

"Yeah, in a few years. Now is definitely not the time for that"

"Why not?" He pouted.

"Um, not until that man's head is detached from the rest of his body"

"Ouch. You are in a very violent mood. I just wanted the house to seem a little less empty"

"Then get a puppy"

He laughed again, "Careful, I may just take you up on that"

"So?"

We left that room, and suddenly I felt exhausted, so I dragged Joel into the bedroom and fell asleep with my head on his chest and his fingers running through my hair.

My dreams were just as turbulent as my waking nightmare of a life. They were filled with the faces of my family, some sad, and some angry, accusing, asking me how I could let them die. How could I not save them, what had they done to deserve this. The answer was, nothing. Then it switched to Jayce torturing Joel, only this time he did kill him. Then to Joel telling me I was a horrible monster for killing all those people, torturing those kids. He told me he hated me, that he could never love someone like that. And the worst part was that through everything, I couldn't speak. I couldn't even move. It was frustrating and horrible and I felt like my heart was ripping into pieces. I couldn't get out, I needed to get out. I was screaming in my head, I was going crazy. Someone needed to help, to fix my life, to make it right again.

I woke with a jolt to someone shaking me. Reflexively, I reached up and put my hand around their throat only to fully wake up and realize it was Joel. He gently pulled my hand away and quietly held me there. I realized I was crying.

"What-what happened?"

"You were screaming in your sleep. You were asking-", He trailed off, closing his eyes. A pained expression crossed his face and his arms tightened around me.

I buried my face in his chest and rubbed his chest with my hand, "I'm sorry. It was just a bad dream. It's fine"

He was still tense, but he calmed down a little.

"Hey, why don't we go outside, walk around. We could go get a puppy"

He still didn't move.

"Come on. You know there are masks that will change your face. No one will even be able to tell you're wearing one. Then we can go together. You don't even have to let go of me. It'll be great"

Still nothing.

I pulled myself up so my face was over his, "Please?"

His eyes opened to look into mine. He studied me for a minute, his face full of pain, and he finally nodded, stiffly. I smiled and kissed him. He kissed back, and it felt almost desperate. Slowly I pulled back and sat up. I laced my fingers in his and he stood with me, walking to the room at the end of the hall which contained all sorts of things for Hunters that we were supposed to use on assignments.

I picked up one of the Smartmasks and handed it to him. Right now, it looked like a piece of rubber with eye holes cut into it, but when he held it to his face, and though what he wanted it to look like, features started to form. A scar on his right cheek, strong, defined cheek bones, thin lips, etcetera, until he looked like a completely different person, albeit a relatively handsome one. Even so, I still preferred his real face, but this would work for going out in public.

I smiled gently and pulled on his arm. He started walking and after about twenty minutes we were in town. Eventually he managed to appear relaxed, but I could tell he still wasn't okay. Something I had said while I was dreaming was bothering him. I could tell by the way his hand gripped mine like I might leave, the way he was constantly scanning around us to make sure there were no threats, the slight tightness of his lips. He was most definitely not at ease.

Wherever we walked, people watched and stared and pointed. They whispered to one another and some outright glared. Some waved though, and smiled. Not one spoke to me or said anything. Apparently I was scary.

In District four we had a pet shop that held dogs and cats. People didn't have a whole lot of extra money, so pets were mostly either for victors or people who had mouse problems, things that would require the animal to benefit them in some way. People especially liked to get cats because they were easy to feed, being near the water with so many fish, and they would get rid of mice and rats. They could eat those too. So the store had more cats than dogs, understandably.

A large black dog caught Joel's attention first, one of the three dogs. The owner said he was only about a year old. We paid for him, and as we were leaving, I noticed a huge black and white cat, easily twenty five pounds, laying in his cage. He looked so sad.

"Why is he still here?", I asked the owner. They always got cats when they were kittens, so if they were trying to sell a fully grown cat, it meant no one had wanted it.

"He's no good at catching mice. Too lazy, and he eats too much. I think I'm going to have to put him down", basically, the owner meant he was going to drown him. He didn't seem terribly upset about it.

I glanced back at the cat, who had covered his face with his big white paws, then at Joel. He shook his head, looking horrified.

"Please?", That one word held so much power. He caved. Apparently he couldn't deny me anything.

So, when we went back to the house, we had not only a dog, but a kitty, along with a huge quantity of meat and other food. I got some milk for the cat as well, much to Joel's annoyance.

When we let the cat out of the cage, he crouched down and slowly started exploring with his ears flat, very cautiously. In contrast, the dog bounded inside, and started running around and sniffing everything, barking happily and wagging his tail. I felt bad for the cat, so I reached down to pet him and realized he was shaking. I went and poured him some of the milk, and he immediately started drinking it, and eventually started purring.

"What?", I asked, noticing the face Joel was giving me.

"Nothing. I've just never seen you that...gentle", The expression on his face was so strange.

I smiled, and scooped up the cat. It took two hands to hold him, and I carried him upstairs to our bed and set him down. He walked around and sniffed for a minute, before laying down and falling asleep, purring. I went back downstairs, where Joel was still giving me that funny look, and threw my arms around him. He put his arms around me too and I laid my head against his chest, until the dog came over and rammed into the back of his legs.

Laughing, I looked down, "I think he wants you to play with him"

Grumbling, Joel grabbed the ball from the dog's mouth that he had no doubt ripped off of the practice dummy. It was the hand. He threw it across the room, and turned back to me, only to have the dog run back and ram into him again.

"Doesn't he ever get tired?"

"He's a puppy. So no"

He growled and threw the ball again, "If we had kids, they could do this"

"No. Do not start that again. Remember what I said about Jayce?"

"Hey, I'm just making a point", He reached up and peeled the mask off of his face.

"I understand your point, and I'm telling you that it's not happening for a little while. I refuse to give Jayce more people to hurt that I care about. You are enough to worry about"

"Oh, gee, thanks, I'm just another worry"

I glared at him, "That's not what I meant and you know it"

Instead of answering, he leaned down and kissed me. I melted into the kiss, and forgot about everything else. Until the dog slammed into Joel's legs again. He growled, "I have half a mind to take him back"

I fixed him with a dangerous look, "Don't you dare"

He tossed the ball, "Damn, if that's the look you give people before you kill them, no wonder they're so scared"

"I'm pretty sure they're scared of the big scary knives I'm usually carrying, not my face"

"So you think"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Oh, nothing"

"No, you are not getting off that easily", I pushed away from him and ran downstairs, shedding most of my clothes along the way, and jumped into the pool. When I came back up, I looked at the stairs to see Joel running down, closely followed by the dog. He was moving fast, and then all of a sudden he was on the ground having slipped on my shirt. I laughed loudly and forgot to keep treading water, so I sank under the surface, but recover quickly.

I pulled my self out and walked over to him. He was still sitting on the floor, "Oh, stop it, you're fine"

He glared up at me, and I grinned, "I'm sorry, maybe your ego isn't fine, and maybe you have a bruise, but you'll live. Come on, up"

Still, he wouldn't move, so I raised my eyebrows, "Alright, have it your way", I grabbed his foot and pulled. I jumped into the pool, and dragged him in with me. His face was full of shock.

When he came up, his face was full of laughter, "Oh, you are so going to pay for that", He pulled me to him, picked me up, and threw me across the pool, swam after me, and shoved me against the side a little roughly. His lips crashed down on mine, and I saw stars as his lips trailed down my neck, to my collar bone, and started to go lower.

"Nope. Not happening", I pushed him back, and he grinned devilishly, "That's it, you are not allowed to see me in my underwear anymore. You can't handle it"

He pouted, "Yes I can. I think I'm handling it quite well"

"I beg to differ", I turned to pull myself out, but when I was almost all of the way out, he grabbed my foot and pulled me back in. He pulled my flush against his chest and his lips attacked my neck and shoulders, while his hands started to roam across my skin. I struggled for a minute and finally freed myself, swimming away as fast as I could. He dove after me, but was intercepted when the dog, who couldn't stand not being part of the excitement anymore, jumped into the pool and landed on top of Joel, whose face showed surprise as he fell back underwater. I cracked up, and he was laughing when he came up too. The dog barked happily, swimming around.


End file.
